announcement of my new name

just had supper w baby & simon at chinatown..
wow.
i cant believe i can finish it all.
i ate kway chap with those ingredients which i am unable to name them..
sth like pig intestines..?
PLUS a bowl of laksa of extra HUM!
lolx*

i decided not to stay at the weight of 45kg.
cos it means i'm unhealthy cos of underweight-ing.
i need to reach the range of 50kg.
but i don wish to touch the "5" range.
i want it to maintain at 46kg-48kg!
i guess i control it the wrong way!
overeating?
damn.
but its simply too delicious!

baby is going to accompany me for the night tml on new yr eve..
actually consider tonight la..!
but i always find it uncomfortable..
cos i have not wake up & see the sun yet..
so i always hack about the date moving on after 12am.
ok.
i know its lame.

i may not have the time to blog tml.
but i am sure i will upload all the pics i took with many people on either sat or sun.
probably on sun..
cos i have to attend my cousin's wedding on this coming sat.

sorry..
i am still lazy to upload pics..
pics from xmas gathering..
jumbo seafood pics..

times really flies..
its the last day of 2008 already..
a blink of an eye..
my 6mths in VL passed thru like this..
i love all my colleagues..

rose & me are more closer than colleagues now..

i am signing up for advanced japanese next yr..
studying again..
exams again..
yet i am excited..
cos my japanese is still weak..
only simple conversations with japanese guests.

i am willing to work harder & save for my jap course.
yes!
once i have said it,
i will do it!
I NEVER FAIL TO DO SO!

now i am annoucning..
from effect after February 2009..
my new name will be Nakamura Koyuki @ Ho Jing Yee Yvonne.

will be signing the oath papers after chinese new year..
by then..
my 2nd niece will be 1 mth plus le..
in less than 2 wks time..
i will be an auntie of 2 nieces..

my rachel is really playful..
yet adorable!
damn adorable..
she's smart manx!

her milk powder is damn power!~
at her age of 3yrs old..
she knows how to ans me back!!!!
omgness*
cant imagine..

waiting for baby to reach home then slp.
tml working 3-11..
maybe meeting ah pat korkor on fri evening.
hopefully ah bin korkor can make it too..
that ah pat better not drop another BOMB again..
if not..
he will..
*&^%$#@!

browsing for another new blogskin..
starting to get bored seeing it..

ok.
stopping here now.
nitex.

HAPPIE NEW YEAR 2009 to everyone who reads my blog often..
u know who u are..
esp those who often read & know how i am getting on..
ppl like kenji, nic, wm, by, mich.

kenji - thanks. u are always with me. u know me the best than anyone else. only u can communicate with me in japanese. u never fails to make me smile.

nic - u ah! always take my hoonkee! but we are always so chattable..we have known each other for almost 9yrs..squabbles are most than everything. nevertheless, its nth serious. no big deal ok. we quarrel for nth. for fun only.

wm - i only knew u for about almost 5 yrs..thou my words to you isnt much..but u are someone i can confide in always..

by - u are one of my vball juniors..yet i nvr treat u like one before. cos i nvr feel so. u are always someone i can talk to..play with..crapping tgt with mich..scolding coach..getting punished tgt..cleaning up the whole hall.

mich - anytime, any moment can talk craps..tgt with by, even getting punished tgt makes us laugh even more..detention in school..

not forgetting my RACH darling..
gossiping..talking shit during work which makes us kill time during work..more energetic & less boring with each other accompanies..my closest colleague in wellborn..opps..i nvr treat her as a colleague i should say..she's my bestest friend from 2007 till now since she came from vme to vm & then to vm. visits my blog at times & sweet enuff by dropping me taggies.

lastly..
i will nvr forget my baby of cos.
if not he might shoot me..
we are tgt for 1 yr 11 mths..
going to be 2 yrs soon..
i hope we will be like this till the end of life.
i noe its kinda mushy..
thats my wish for the whole of my life.
we have been accomodating each other all these while..
despite all e quarrels we had..
we forgave each other because of LOVE.

宝贝，
谢谢你一直包容我的任性！
我们在一起都快要两年了。。
希望我们会永远都会保持这种感觉到生命的最后一天一秒！
我知道这样是有点肉麻。。
但这是我这一生中唯一最想拥有的愿望。
虽然每次都吵架。。
很多次都差点闹到到分手。。
但是我们每次都能很快就世界和平了！
我一直相信。。
我们每次能成功过的每一关都是因为我们彼此都还在相爱着对方！
总结来说。。
全都是因为爱！

this is my longest post of the month.
i am putting a fullstop of happiness & unhappiness in 2008.

i hope by changing my name can refresh a new me..

cravings satisfied

ok.
my cravings are gone.
i had my orh lua just a moment ago at my hse downstairs.

baby just went home.
i'm so slpy..
should be slping in awhile..

i was so deep asleep ytd night.
was so afraid that i cant get to slp as i am working morning shift the next day..
so i took 2 slping pills..
was thinking normally it will take about 30mins..
but i forgot i took 2 pills.
damn.
i didnt even know baby called me..
was supposed to chat with him awhile de..
ended up i flew to another world.
so he left a sms in e end.

baby's off tml.
i am on afternoon shift.
yucks*
damn.
lucky boy..
how i wish i am off tml..
but i noe i cant.

i am listening to my fav songs now..
damn song lor!

till now i cant find any links for me to download.

Roger Kwok & Charmaine Sheh - 东方之珠 subtheme
Han Ul - Sarang Ee Dduh Nan Da
Kim Ji Hoon - I Love U

i am so eager to download these tracks.
cos imeem cant do so.
baidu is out too.

shit*

eeeekkkkkkkkkkkkk~

wanted so much to get my black shoe today..
but was help up at work to complete some stuffs..
ended up i am still in the restaurant now..
thou i have finished work.
but i still have some paperwork to complete as i am on afternoon shift.

i am so so so hungry!
damn*
my shoe is gonna leave me soon.
there's a big hole now.
wonder when it will officially retire..
hopefully not when i am at my busiest times.
god bless me...

hopefully next week during my off days in sat & sun..
i can clear up another half of my room..
then also hunt for my black working shoe.

shit*
i am hungry till angry.
i'm craving for orh lua!
1 more hr before baby finishes work.

忍！忍！忍！
counting down...

moody

i'm so so so sianx.
i so wanna go home..
but i cant..

i feel so moody now..
dono wat exactly happen also.

i hate this.
the feeling i'm having now sucks to the core.
damn damn damn.

i'm losing faith in this relationship.
its not cos i don love him.
but it seems like i'm always in wrong even if i insist that i'm right.
there's always tons of reason to prove that i'm wrong.

i tot there's no right or wrong in relationships?
i might be immature at times.
but i have to say my thinking is not always wrong all the time right?
sometimes i really insist that i'm right..
but ended up to be said that i'm stubborn.
wtf?

or should i wait till both of our moods are good then everything will be fine?

hopefully i can wait..
i'm barely surviving..

sadness is killing me.

i am lonely.
i am seriously lonely.

P.S:
I knew you are always browsing my blog. I consider your feelings thats why i didn't wanna tell you straight.
Sorry to "U"...even if i knew u earlier, i am sure i will never start a r/s wth you. Even if i am single, the main reason is the feeling & chemistry isnt there. Its not the time. But there's simply no fate. I truly believe in fate. I always wanted us to be friends. Just pure friends. I am attached. I don't wanna change anything. I don't want anything or anyone else to affect my r/s with my baby. Thou at certain moments, my r/s is kinda rocky..but i still wanna remain in this way. Nth else. Don't put your hopes on me anymore. You have to move on & find a better one. I hope you will find your happiness soon. All the best.

wallet wallet wallet!!!

argh!
i need a wallet soon soon soon~!

its barely surviving now.

oh gosh!

now my next target is WALLET!

any sponsers?

merry xmas!

merry merry xmas~

sweeped & mopped my house..
so shag.
then rushed to tiong to collect my new specs..
bought so much groceries..
lucky i have kenji to help me with those heavy bags..
then go back home slack..
waited for baby to finish work..
waited waited waited..
then baby finally reach my house..
he had a quick shower..
then we walked to tiong & collect our movie tix.

finally watched Twilight!
yes!
the ending was kinda weird for baby & me.

after that went to find xiaohua..
my cat near the void deck.

went home..
had a sudden urge to have a quick wash of our hair..
lolx*

then slp.
yesterday night wasn't bad..
i had an enjoyable night with baby.

woke up reluctantly..
slept bout 4am..

now at least not so steam-ed liao..

tonight should be busy ba..
hopefully not busy & hopefully not not busy too~!
heehee*

i am changing my name..
found the lawyer firm..
this time is confirmed.
definitely going soon.
100% guaranteed.

as for the new name..
i'm not gonna disclose it yet.
wait till all the procedures is done then i will announce.

some asked me why i need to change name..
well..
its my personal reasons.
i'm afraid whether ppl will like it or not..
afterall..
its my name..
who cares..
right?

pics uploaded.

this is how my mickey mouse lillipop goes..


________________________

in less than 3 mins..


________________________

in another 3 mins later..


________________________

my mickey head is vanishing..
looks like an alien..


________________________

gosh*
mickey ears is breaking..



the reason why i took all these pics..
cos i tot of saving some for baby..
but ended up i was too tempted with the cola favour..
i finished it.
________________________






the yummy food we had..
________________________

anna & me.

met up on last sunday..

we have a great time crapping around..

shopping for our beloved..

chatting..

long long time since we met up.

she's my bestest buddie in sec sch..

till now..

i believe friendship is forever.

cos its FATE that bought us together :)

________________________

well..i forced my baby to pose like this.

he looks damn poor thingy..

but i like it.

he dint say he doesnt like it too..

lolx*
________________________________

i know this is real late.
i was just simply lazy to upload..
secondly..
i have no time.
this was taken on 10 Nov on my bdae..
my baby specially bought this choco cake.
cos i'm a chocolate-craz gal.

________________________________

the love-shaped cake was bought by me on baby's bdae..

but i have lost the pic that we took tgt with the cake.

blame it on my fast itchy thumb.

damn*

________________________________

谁要陪我看twilight电影？

我在等下去就没得看了！

每一次说我说的下一次。。

永远都没有下一次！

总是失望一场！

看来我拭目以待要看的戏泡汤了！

我现在的心是冷冷的。。
我是有感觉的。。
不要每次都留下你要睡觉的时间给我而把你有精力的时间都留给别人！

我每次努力把精力留给了你，

你都不曾发觉到我的用心和努力！

因为你没有体验过这种感觉。。

所以你每次都觉得我蛮不讲理！

算了。。

反正你也不怎么去管我。。

每次都是几天的热度。。

然后就没有了！

我这几天的开心。。

全都没有了！

讨厌的眼泪又留下来了。。

心里很难过。。

sandwich-ed

i'm so afraid of the feeling of being sandwiched..
this feeling is definitely not nice at all.
my fault again..
to listen or not to listen?

i'm getting so tired.
really..
i broke down & cried for countless of times just because of the company.

i love wellborn..
cos that was my longest stay in part time job..
eventually my 1st full time job as well.

just cos of me..
just by listening to instructions..
many things cropped out late night.

i damn hate this.
but i don hate anyone.
everyone is bound to have diff thinkings..

well..
i have finished my rantings..

stopping here now.
shall have my slp..

nitex everybody..

没安全感了。。

我很辛苦。。
做工也没心情！

为什么每次都好像是我在主动的。。
你每次休息就赶着回家。。
从来都没陪过我。

我好想好想像其他人一样。。
可以和心爱的人出出门逛逛街。。
可是我在这接近两年都没有这一天。
每次休息都不曾在这里逛街过。。
你是否有问过我到底会不会介意。。
我真的很辛苦。
你好像都不管我心里的感受。
我很怕。。
我不知道你几时会发脾气就说不要我。。
我什么安全感都没有了。

爱一个人不是应该知道对方的感受吗？

从拜四晚上。。
我一直都没开心过。。
你还怪我为什么不开心。。
你知道我的心真的很痛吗？

我觉得自己很失败。。
你不开心。。
我想哄哄你。。
但没有用。。
你都不需要我的存在。。
会让你开心的人不是我。
而是其它人。
我很介意这一切！
难道我是真的那么没用吗？

我真的好想和你永远开开心心在一起。。
我不想和你吵架。。
但我们却每次都吵架！

我太难受了！
我刚刚在外面一个人抽烟。。
一半抽烟。。一半在哭

我很希望你会抽些时间来陪陪我。。
陪我逛街买我一直想要的东西，偶尔看看电影。。

我还会等到那一天吗？

:'(

:)

as of now..
i might not be updating as often as it was used to be.
but i promise myself to update at least once a week.

i am too busy for such things now..

busy meeting clients..
handling VL's enquiries..
as well as restaurant operations.

but still..
blogger is my 2nd place for me to place my happy & sad feelings.
cos the 1st place is my baby's heart.
he knows me the best.

i should be slping now..
yet i'm not.

tml working morn..
shall try to leave right away after briefing.
then rush home & wait for baby to come fetch me to JB.
he's getting his car tml..
i'll be the 1st person (excluding him of cos..) to be sitting in it.
wee*

his sis will be goin back as well too.

my baby is a 大石头！
so his sis's existence is somehow a good thing.
lolx*

ok.
shall end here for now.
i will be back soon.

悲伤。。

吵架了。。
心情非常不好。
宝贝也对我冷冰冰的。。
难受死了！

我在等待彩虹的一天。。
我们几时又会好起来呢？
连做工都没心情。
昨晚都把眼睛哭肿了！

今天还是无动于衷。。
没什么话说。。

刚才和宝贝吃夜宵时。。
我开汽水时又不小信割伤自己。
流血了。
其实很痛的。。
但心里更痛。

明天是否还是这样吗？
我真的不希望。。
唉。。

我想上天祷告。。
明天能让我的心情开朗点。。
希望宝贝看到我会更开心。。。
也希望就算偶尔吵架。。
感情还是会保持稳定状态。

明天又要做早。。
不知道为什么。。
现在又突然不舒服。
有点辛苦。。
胸口觉得紧紧的。。

不说了。。
我想一个人静一静。

words in my heart

Dear Friend,
As you go up this morning,
I watched you.
i hoped you would talk to me even if it was just a few words, asking my opinion or thanking me for something good that happened in your life yesterday, but I noticed you were too busy trying to find the right outfit to put on and wear to work.
I waited again…
When you ran around the house getting ready I knew there would be a few minutes for you to stop and say hello,
but you were too busy.
At one point you had to wait fifteen with nothing to do except sit in a chair.
Then I saw you spring to your feet.
I thought you wanted to talk to me but you ran to the phone and called a friend to get the latest gossip.
I watched you as you went to work and I waited patiently all day long.
With all your activities I guess you were too busy to say anything to me.
I noticed that before lunch you look around, maybe you felt embarrassed to talk to me, that is why you didn’t bow your head.
You glanced three of four tables over and you noticed some of your friends talking to me briefly before they ate, but you didn’t.
That’s okay!
There is still more time left, and I have hope that you will talk to me even yet.
You went home and it seems as if you had lots of things to do… After a few of them were done you turned on the TV.
I don’t know if I like TV or not, just about anything goes there and you spend a lot of time each day in front of it, not thinking about anything just enjoying the show.
I waited patiently again as you watched TV and ate your meal but again you didn’t talk to me. As you did you paperwork I waited again,
you did what you had to do.
At bedtime I guess you felt too tired.
After you said goodnight to your family, you plopped into bed and fell asleep in no time.
That’s okay, because you may not realize that I am always there for you.
I’ve got patience more than you will ever know.
I even want to teach you how to be patient with others as well, because I love you so much, a long time ago I left a wonderful place called heaven and came to earth.
I gave it up so that I could be ridiculed and made fun of, and I even died so you wouldn’t have to take my place.
I love you so much that I wait everyday for a nod, prayers or thought or a thankful part of you heart.
It is hard to have a one-sided conversation.
Well you are getting up again, and once again I will wait with nothing but love for you, hoping that today you will give me some time.
Have a nice day!

sick

finally..
i knew it.
it's bound to be sooner or later..
my body collapsed..

i'm off today..
but on mc tml..
wasnt feeling well since sat night..
oh damn.

well..
i should thank god for letting me being sick earlier rather than later in this coming week.
i have lotsa events to cover..
ok.
pls let me be well by tml!
plssss...
pretty pretty plsss plsss plssss~

got a high fever now.
oh manx.
nth to do at home.
watching tv..
slping..
eating..
nth else.

ok.
i wanna slp again.
nitex.

God bless me..

plain post

i'm getting more & more lazy to blog..
dono why..
no feeling..
lolx.

maybe cos of workload..
too tired.
sianx la.

things ard me isnt that smooth either..

next week have 9 events..
wondering whether i will drop dead or not..
this is crazy..

i rather events come again & again..
but not 2 events in a day..
will kill..
it's fatal u know..

back ache getting more & more serious..
tummy ache every day..
dono wat the hell is happening too..

all i know is to go work..
work.
work.
work.

i need a holiday!
argh!

hopefully next year feb can take 3 days on 17-19...
hopefully!!!!!
pls..

haa..
i'm already looking forward to 2-yr anniversary..
i'm crazy..

after a long meeting today..
i was so high..
lolx*

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simple & plain

so so so tired.

ytd slept at bout 3am++....
ordered mac at 1am..
food arrived almost 2am..
argh*
was so hungry!

watched tvb drama.
"Police Academy"...
half eating..half watching..
lolx.
shiok.
the mcspicy was so spicy ytd.
everytime we eat..
everytime the level of spicyness is different.

den woke up at 1pm++..
prepare myself..
go work.
today is so boring.
ghost town again.
i hate this.

i don wanna be busy..
but i also hate to be NOT BUSY!
i love the constant flow of guests coming.
time will pass faster like this.

well..
nth much to update..
ok.
i noe i am supposed to update my bday cake pic..
but i seriously lazy to do so..
gimme more time.
i promise i will do so.
its nth much anyway..
just the pic of the cake.

baby still haven reach home.
i'm still waiting..

alright.
i'm going to bed now.
while waiting to fall aslp...
i can also wait for baby :)

nitex guys..

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:) :) :)

bday is over.
i am happy somehow.
no celeb was done.
i didnt want all this.
my wishes came true.
baby acc me all e way more than 24 hrs before & after my bdae.
i am happy.
cos thats all i wanted all along.
being able to stay beside your loved ones during your special day is the most meaningful thing for me.
perhaps not others.
well..
its me.

activated my auto roam.
wee*
finally~~~

i love my baby.
the lil diamond necklance he got for me was lovely.
just that i simply love e necklance he bought for me previously.
afterall..
its still his gift right.

献给我一生中最爱的成华宝贝，
谢谢你！
你买的蛋糕。。
就是因为你买的。。
我吃得很开心。。
嘴里都是甜甜的。。
就像巧克力在嘴里溶化那样的感觉！

你送我的小钻石项链，
我是真的很喜欢！
只是我还对你之前卖给我的链很有感情。。
所以我不舍得脱下带上新的！
但我答应你。。
下次和你出门的时候。。
我再带上让你看看！

因为去年的工作时间，
你没法陪我。
但今年你都补偿了！
我非常开心。
我真不敢想象没有你，黄成华！
没有了你。。
我的世界就变得没有色彩。

谢谢你给我从没得到的宠爱。。
我一定会继续等你做个更好的good boyboy!

原来。。
能拥有最深爱的人陪在身边度过最特别的一天才是最美好的！
这种幸福即使是用钱都卖不到的！
我很幸福了。
我知道我的宝贝很疼我!

淑贤永远最疼最爱的人就是成华了。。！！！

1 more day to my bdae~

ok.
counting down to 1 more day to my birthday!

will be leaving my house ard 4pm..
hopefully it won't be so congested.
pls..
if not i will go crazy..

i am so gonna activate roaming services soon!
omgness.
its damn terrible to be out of reach..

ok.
wateva.
even if cannot..
oso no choice right.
now i hate M1..

busy busy busy

2 more days to my birthday!
wee*
ok.

was busy with work stuffs these 2 days.
2/4 of my time spent at work.
another 1/4 spent strictly on slping.
the remaining 1/4 spent with my baby.
see..
i'm racing against time..
24hrs isnt enuff for me at all.
tml working morn again..
oh well..
i will have a good 2-day off days..
sun off..
meeting baby @ JB custom..
den heading towards his hometown on sunday night..
after that..
it will be my birthday..

i wanted a simple & ordinary day with him..
big celebration is not needed.
as long as i am happy with baby..
thats enuff.

ok.
i'm ending here.
shall be back tml to have my last update for the week.

alrightssss..
goodnight.

你真讨厌！

臭成华！
你是讨厌鬼！

讨厌讨厌讨厌！
气死我啦！

你真没有我的心！
>.<"
>_<"
[-___-]
-_-
+_+

give me more time..

上个礼拜天，
田野带我去庙了。。
谢谢你，田野！
一离开神庙，
你一直在哄我开心。。

这几天，
我都很努力保持开朗的心情。
虽然有时候我失败了。。
眼泪流了。
但我知道我已经做到一半了。

我真的很辛苦。。
很难受。。
但我坚决不能让自己的情绪影响工作。
真的撑得很辛苦！
没人知道。。
我还是继续带着欢笑。。
再给我多一点点的时间！
我一定能振作起来的！
还有很多事等着我来做！

好了。。
明天还得做早班。。
不说了！

1 litre of tears

i hate this..
jus half an hour ago..
i was so happy..
and now i received the 2nd worse news in my entire life.
the 1st traumatic news in my life was when i was 11 yrs when my beloved mummy passed away.
i did not get a chance to see her for the last time as i went back to sch to collect my results.
& now..
he's someone who loves me more than anyone else do.
now that he's gone..
i lost him.
again,
i nvr got any chance to see him for the last time.
why this happen on me again!
i took so much time to let go of my mum..
now that i have to go thru all this all over again.
i hate this feeling.

i just received news from kenji..
other than my mum & dad..
he is someone whom i love dearly for all my life..
he passed away.
i so wish i can fly to japan now..
but with my condition like that,
doc doesnt allow me to fly over..
if not my health will be in danger.
its that serious.

big feast, reveals of baby's present

had a full dim-sum buffet today..
slack awhile at vivo..
then went back home..
my bro-in-law drove us to bukit merah central..
baby & me went for a haircut..

then had dinner at my house area..
went up my house slack awhile again..
after that baby left..
tml work again.

abit sianx.
enjoy alot outside..
then suddenly next day need to work..
but no choice..
no work=no money~

been so long since i enjoyed days like this..
11 days more to my bdae le!
yes!
so i have 1 more day to enjoy next month...
i still cannot guess baby's secret present!
argh*
damn.
he hide it quite well..
opps.
or should i say very well!?

ok.
time for me to reveal my present for baby's bdae!
tada~~~
ans:
1. seiko watch (which costs me a big big bomb)..
2. converse jersey..
3. black collared shirt..

hahaha..
nvm.
though i'm damn broke now.
at least i'm happy..

out the whole day..
wanna have my rest now..
my turn to slack infront of the tv..
tvb drama*

baby's birthday, sadden, regreted, tears flowed

left vl at about 6pm on monday..
went to JB to meet baby.
we met at the custom area.
carried the cake & his presents from my house all e way to JB..
omg*

celebrated baby's bday ytd..
was with him for the whole 24 hrs.
had steamboat at night with his cousin & friends..
had BBQ with his sis the next afternoon.
went back to his house to slack awhile..
watch tv..
then went back SG.

supposed to upload pics..
but.....
by accident,
the pics were deleted.
so so so sad.
there's no way anymore.
regreted.
lost the pics of e cake..
lost the pics of baby & me with the cake.
haix.
only once a year!
how can it happen on me?
i'm damn useless.

had been quite awhile since we took pics..
& now..
all gone.
tears flowed.

dammit!

tml will be having lunch with my sis, bro-in-law, daddy & my niece rachel..
baby will be joining too.
main purpose of the meal was actually celebrating baby's & my birthday..
also my sis & dad's birthday.
cos all our birthday are near each other.
considered a gathering.
most probably goin for a haircut after the meal.

ok.
no mood to go on le.
i can only blame myself..
stupid fingers.

baby's birthday

in less than 5hrs time..
its gonna be baby's birthday!
wee*

but poor me..
my hands are gonna be full with my own bag..
his presents..
his cake.
argh.

ok.
i'm gonna get myself prepared.
cya!

busy week.

had an event last week.
reader digest held a function at The Hall.
mark lee was here also.
took care of e VIPs..
of cos..
he was considered one of them.

took a pic with him too.
he's very humorous..
really!
nice chatting with him~

well..
apologised due to my MIA..
ok.
i was very very busy handling enquiries..
besides that..
i was going crazy over the 1300pax on sunday for APAA event.
so squeezieeeeeeeeeeeeee!
cant even walk about..
it made me so so so tired till i had no energy to go online & update here until today.
today had a busy day too.
tml got event again.
i am gonna slp real soon.
in less than 15 mins time.

having a runny nose..
bad sore throat..
so afraid of losing my voice.
haix.
my voice already started tuning to another channel.
cough is coming up to welcome me..
oh manx!

everytime i lose my voice & suffered a bad throat..
it spells trouble.
that means i'm gonna get a high fever soon.
this happens once or twice in a year for me w/o fail.
i hate that.
today..
i forced myself to drink lotsa PLAIN WATER.
i dint take any cold drinks at all.
no ice lemon tea..
no coke..
not even hot coffee as its very heaty.

i almost couldnt resist the temptation of having hot coffee.
cos the weather was jus too chilly..
but..
i did it!
i drink warm water instead.
thou my mind is still thinking whether...
u know u know.

i nvr had a day w/o coffee ever since i was being transferred to VL.
coffee is a must for me.
yet..
i have to force myself not to have even a sip for these few days..
see how it goes..

ok.
i wanna slp now.
tml is a full day for me.
alright..

should be updating lesser due to my schedule.

goodnight :)

baby's birthday is coming soon.
busy planning & getting his birthday stuffs ready.
that was almost enough to kill me.
but i am most willing to..
who ask me to love him..
true..
when it comes to love..
i'm totally blind.
lolx.

monday blues

wah.
nvr work oso feel tired.
suppose to acc baby to collect his work permit.
but raining.
so baby went alone.
then come my hse to wake me up.
had jap food for lunch.
did some changes to his present.
hee*
i cant say it now.

jeremy called me jus now.
but too bad..
baby went back home le.
nxt time ba.

just finish my cleaning..
wah.
sweating like ....
vacuum & mopping almost cost me my life.
gonna have my shower now.

tml work split le.
sianx.

ok.
will stop here.
i'll be busy later.
designing my present for baby.
hee*

so sianx today.
haix.
maybe i'm having my monday blues..
eek~

rach's bday, big bomb

celebrated rachel's birthday early afternoon.
she's so mischievious now!
naughty!
lolx*
but awhile..
she got used to us & felt more comfy..
still afraid of strangers..
cos we nvr seen her for months.


her chicken head.


the niece & auntie yvonne


lotsa peace*


my bro-in-law, rach, me, my sis


daddy, rach, me, baby adam _she just cant have 1 more sec of patience..


daddy doesnt know he's inside too. rach is too quick for e cam..again..

bought my thumbdrive @ $19.80 already!
oh yes!
finally..

collected baby's present..
wahs..
its a big big bomb..
big hint.
spent more than 500++ for just 1 present.
which means i have a total of 3 presents for him.

i'm so gonna scrimp & save.
thou my pay is gonna be in soon.
but i have to pay off credit card which is used to pay for the priority present.
now u see..
see how much i love him?
my hard-earned money automatically goes to him willingly..

thats why ppl say love is blind.
& i agreed so.
well..
its true.
depends on how much u love your partner.

anyway..
shall be meeting up with baby again tml morn to collect his WP card.
then have lunch..
after that we will be heading separate ways.
he's goin home & i'm goin VL for meeting.

after that..
i will have to shop for my baby's last present.
hopefully can settle his stuffs by tml.
so i need not worry so much except for the cake.
i will worry about the cake next wk..

ok.
nth much to update for now.
so hot..
gonna have my shower!

happie happie 3rd birthday!

HAPPIE HAPPIE 3rd BIRTHDAY RACHEL aka QIQI!

i so so so love my one & only niece!

i am now charging my digital cam batt!
i must take pic wif her tml~
must must must!

she loves taking pic too~

i am so excited to see her tml!
omg!
i jus cant wait anymore!
i was thinking whether she still can rmb my baby adam when she sees him tml.

she got along very well with him during the zoo trip.
she even held adam's hand & walked ard.
i'm not jealous of them of cos.
but i'm jealous cos she got new friend then don wan her one & only auntie.
well..
the way she addressed baby as "korkor"..
very cute!
even when she call me "ah yi" also not so cute.
argh -____-"

ok.
thats bout it for now.
shall be back soon to update pics.
stay tuned.

a gonna-be hectic saturday

tml will be a hectic saturday for me.
lotsa stuffs to follow up.
guess 80% of my time will be inside the room.
omgness*
i sure need some slp at 3pm.
hopefully..

if not i will jus take a short nap in the room.
well..
had a meeting at 4 today..
crushed my beauty slp.

thats why i was so steam-ed the whole evening.
dinner wasnt so bad.
managed to hit my worse target.
had a busy afternoon...

ok.
i shud jump to bed now.
if not i'm so gonna be dead tml.

heavy eyebags..
i'm already a panda..

but..
i'm still lookin forward to my niece bdae..
jus endure 1 more day & its my off day liao!
wee*

tml need to withdraw money for her big angbao.

i really need to get a thumbdrive soon.
cant survive without it.
technology world.
-_-"

ok.
ending here.
enuff of craps.

nitex.

upload pics, rachel's bdae

got some pics from shela's cam.
uploaded finally..


Miss Yvonne.


my all-time hardworking part-timer staff, teppy & me.
guess where she's from? philipines or vietnam?
the correct ans is vietnam.
cos none of my guests believed she's a vietnamese.


my another all-time hardworking part-timer, tien hon & me.
need not say..he's a pure sg'rean ok!
well..
see how short i am?!
idiot!
he made me feel like i'm a short-ie.


juan, shela, me, my baby adam, bikey, tien hon, joshi (see his fat thighs?)


another pic of us.


big feast session.
thinkin of my jacket..
i dirtied my converse jacket on that day! :(


nancy & des - my baby adam & me :)


the cute lil kitten we saw..
the malay guy carried him up..
so we took e pic.
scary eyes.
of cos..
when i said "him"..
obviously i noe this is a male kitten.

as for now..

i'm still still still trying to get used to marketing!
oh manx*
not very hard..
but definitely not very easy either!

today woke up at 7am.
had my fav fishball noodles for breakfast.
den happily took bus to work.
reach 8.30am exactly.
i was lucky..
bus came at the right time.
or else..
i might have just reached on the dot.

thanks baby..
for agreeing to attend rachel's bdae.

no presents for her.
only a big angbao.
anyway..
my sis lor!
she say adam nvr come also nvm.
as long as angbao come den can liao.
walao.
she was laughing still.
a small lil hole in my pocket.
i love her so much..
so its ok.
its a once-a-year celebration.
so so so long nvr see my niece due to heavy workload.

luckily i can take PH on sun.
if not i'm gonna miss e celebration.

i love baby to bits.
i pls pls pls so muchie..
den he agreed de...
e only reason he agreed cos..
i'm his gal..
& partly cos its my sis's daughter.
wee*
so happie!

tml workin 12-S end.
still ok la.
can slp awhile.
hope so.

i'm so eager to close my very first deal.
still trying to get the hang of it.

YVONNE HO!
加油！
U CAN DO IT!

yes..
i'm sure i can do it too.
once i close my first deal..
i will sure have more confidence to move on.
right at this moment..
i'm still afraid that i'll screw up.
after all..
i'm still a baby noob.
give me some time!
argh*
gambatte!

i'm still tryin to keep myself awake..
i wanna watch channel 8 at 2am.
ghostly drama!
hee*
even if i will let out steammmm tml..
i wun regret.
i wanna watch!

still waitin for baby to reach home.

黄成华宝贝。。
何淑贤真的很爱你！

interesting kitty videos

so loving~



to ppl who have cats at home & surprisely facing a high water bill prob..
better check it out!
maybe your cat does this at home!



i was like omg-ness!
i cant believe it..



two-faced kitten.

enjoy those videos!
it may brighten ur moody day..

feverish, complicated, misses, backstabbers

feeling feverish today..
maybe due to lack of rest for a long long time.

isn't a blog for us to let out our feelings?
why is there so many complicated problems?
haix.
poor rach.

i shud consider to make my blog private...
this is best for everyone i guess.

i'm losing my happiness.

don understand why ppl choose to believe those who cant be trusted?
ppl who really put effort are not even known & ended up useless.
jus wanna feel appreciated.

RACH darling..
i miss u lor..
w/o u inside e room..
seems like short of sth..
even now juan nvr cracks jokes liao..
no more tummy-pain of laughs!
i miss those days..
how i wish u're still ard..

those olden days are gone forever.
freedom & happiness became extinct.
now..
its only stress..
careful..very very careful of backstabbers.
how i wish i can go back to june..

she has so many motives.
too bad i just cant guess it out.
too clever for me..

well..
everything will eventually comes to an end.

my existence will slowly be faded in time to come.
trust me.

for my bestie..siew

to my bestie,
siew..
don be upset.
i was once like u before.
someone told me this before..
"wat is meant to be yours will be yours no matter wat"

u must pluck up ur courage to find your own happiness.
& nvr tell urself that u don dare to do it.
its impossible that no one loves u..
there must be somebody..
its jus that u dono.

single & being attached has both advantages & disadvantages.
when u're single,
u tot of being attached.
reasons: wanna hav someone who loves & shower concern to u.
when u're attached,
u tot of being single.
reasons: squabbles can made one very tired & loss of concentration in work & life.

therefore..
let it be natural..
don worrie that u'll be a old maid.

we are still so young ok!
u've plenty of time to choose among so many guys.

i often felt insecured of this & that.
but realised that its useless.
cos it simply make ur life worse.

lesser thinking = lesser worries + lesser tears + MORE happiness
unneccessary thinking = more worries + loss of concentration + more tears + LESS happiness

sometimes,
if u feel like crying out loud..
pls go ahead.
crying out really makes one feel lots better.

i'll be always be there for u.
i'm ur guardian angel.
someone whom u seldom see..
maybe once a year..perhaps once in every few years.
but i'm always secretively viewing ur blog.
jus that u dono all this.

i'm very busy in work these year due to some changes in job scope.
but i'll still make out some time to go online.

meanwhile..
always believe what ur heart tells u so.
believe in ur intuition.

nvr doubt urself for u may lose ur way of life.

loves,
von

balancing on a thin line..

haiss..
no mood nowadays..
dono why also..
busy till no time to eat..

today was so high..
busy busy busy~
i become so high replyin enquires..
somemore we are both newbies..
we are noobs!

walao..
i cant imagine it.
somemore..
i'm still tryin to get used to it.
haix.

damn tired.
tml workin 9-6..
but i'm sure i cant escape..
sure have to end later.
nvm.
shall be waitin for baby to finish work at 7.30pm..
den have dinner..
meanwhile can do my work.

i'm gonna lost my balance.
so stressed up balancing with marketing & operations.
aiyoyo!

i am trying so hard now!!
god bless...

fakeness, supper, marketing, confused

haix.
everything is just so fake now.
nobody can see.
sadden.

jus reach home.
has supper with simon & juan.
was so hungry jus now!
luckily managed to catch my last bus..
thank god that i don need to spend my money on cabbies.

i'm now into marketing..
more & more marketing.

the "black" words are so sarcastic..
spoiled my mood.
aiya..
jus cant stand fakeness.
everything is so different & 101% fake after they left.

nvm.
jus don wait till i bomb.
i'm still enduring until my limits are over.

meanwhile..
i still love my staffs.
thanks to rose & shela..
they bought curry puffs for me..
but i couldnt eat it.
cos i was jus too full after the staff meals.
i'm terribly sorry gals.
next time ok!?
loves <333

ok.
i better slp now.
tml whole day at work.
sianx.
i'm still trying to get used to marketing.
very chim for me at this moment..
quoting & all gives me a big headache.
i should be able to handle it soon i guess..
cos i jus love meeting different ppl..

i'm so confused now.
well..
everything is jus simply confusing! :S

nites~

secret.

tired. tired. tired.

i'm so upset.
but i cant say it out.
its a secret.

all i can say is..
its not cos of my relationship.
totally not.

only can tell rach darling..
guess she's e one who knows me best.
oh well.
but she's leaving tml.
its her last day.

i still cant see her blog!
oh god.
she better change the skin soon.
damn.

nvm.
i knew we will still meet when there's chance :)
right darling?!

振作起来！

田野。。
别伤心。。
我都知道你那里发生什么事了。。
你怎么每次什么都瞒着我！
还好nic告诉我！
怪不得你跟我说话的时候，
我就感觉很不对劲！

你还强忍着。。
勉强自己装作很开心！
你这样让我更不开心！

我在外面。。
什么都帮不上忙。。
这次还好有nic陪着你。。

nic!
thkq u so much!

这种女人不要也罢了！
真没良心。
她根本都不会珍惜你对她爱好意！
你人很好。。
一定会找到一个更好更好的人！
所以我求你不要再伤心了。。

我认识你快要21年了。。
你的性格。。
我比你的女朋友还要清楚！

你真的需要哭出来的话。。
nic就在你身边。。
他肯定会借你躺一躺的。。
你就安安心心大哭一场！
你啊！
别太大男人了！
谁说男人就不能哭！
伤心就哭嘛！
每次都忍忍忍。。
到最后，只会伤到你自己。。
让你自己更是难受！

武内幸 田野！
拜托拜托！
别绝食了啦！

nic..
我全靠你了！
你这次要帮帮我噢！
一定要让田野吃些东西才行！
每天都有刻薄训练。。
不吃东西的话，
他会垮下来的！

now i hope kenji is gonna brace himself up asap.
poor boy..
god bless kenji..
he's such a nice nice soul.

lazy-ness

guess wat..
i slept at 2plus ytd..
but woke up at 4plus in e afternoon.
imagine how tired i am?

watch tv..
eat..
nth else to do..

tml split shift le..
thinkin that i hav to work till closin on sat..
den start work e nxt day at 7am..
i am so worried that i cant wake up e following day.
oh damn.

worse thing is..
juan ask me to give her morning call..
all depending on me.
stressssss.

i hate e weather now..
made me feel so slpy..
made my mood so dampened.
made me so SIANxxxxx.

argh.
ok.
nvm.
i will watch movie later.
i mean not goin out.
but stayin home.
watching movie at my com.

i'm a 101% certified piggie today.
田野 said so..

oh well.
i don mind since its only 1 day which i can slp like nobody's business.
cos this coming sun will be a totally different day from today.

bye guys.

sianx.sianx.siannnnnxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

enjoying my ice cold coffee~

sleepy von

nowadays..
ppl are just so kpo.
i better be careful in wateva things i wrote over here.
damn.
no freedom in blogger too.

ytd was my last day working in vm.
damn busy until i dono wat i'm doing.
it also marks the last day of vm.
walking towards a new environment..
hopefully everything goes smoothly..

i was so steam-ed again..
finish work at 1am..
omgness*
clearing up & all takes time..
left vm at bout 2am++..
slept bout 3++..
den woke up bout 9..
wah..
i so feel like dropping down on e spot.
my eyes are even closed while brushing my teeth.
pathetic soul.

baby went home jus now..
shud be reaching home soon?..
i guess so..

my eyes is so damn puffy now..
kns.
i am still halfway done in the abbreviation.
wahs..
so much work to do..

ok.
no mood.
tahan 1 more day den can rest le..
yvonne..go!

freakin pissed off~

haix.
forget it.
i'm tired of nonsensical stuffs.
i'm letting go.

nvm.
i'll work full day tml.
i'm so damn tired of talking to her.

no commitment from her at all.
always clearing up her unfinished stuffs & all.
settling her shits most of e time!
jus cos of her unhappiness in wateva matters..
i did everythin & change lotsa things jus to accomodate her.
but she took it for granted.
no appreciateness..
no thanks..

complaints & complaints are all she has..

omgness.
her commitment doesnt even beat a full-timer.

shits.

uploaded pics, 水烟, cold war, big headache, steam-ed at work

went to JB w baby on wed night..
he watched dvd & totally forgot bout me.
f**k.
i was so upset.
i was hungry like hell.
ended up we quarrelled.
but..
our cold war ended in about 1hr time.
in e end we went to have our late supper at almost 6am in e mornin.
walao.
e weather was so freakin cold~

slept at bout 7am..
den woke up at 12plus..
met his sis during 3plus for lunch.
has this super nice drink recommended by his sis.
danm nice lor..
so refreshing!
den baby & me sent his sis to work.
while we head to pelangi's watson to buy my make-up products.
went home slacked awhile..
baby bought me to try 水烟!
went out again bout 8plus..
headed for dinner & 水烟 session near his house.
all our dinner sucks.
presentation like shit.
made our appetite gone totally.
drank alot.
but not alcohol la..
just ice tea..
cos we talked & talked till our throats turned dried up.
left that place around 11pm le..
went back to baby's house to take my belongings & then back to SG.
luckily the traffic is very smooth.
reach home bout 12plus..
shared a pkt of maggie mee w baby.
cos nvr enjoyed that pathetic bowl of my noodle soup.
slp at bout 2am plus..
woke up at 9 to get ready for work.

anyway..
here are some pics taken.
due to my lousy hp cam..
the pic quality isnt that good at all.


me & baby


my naughty lil baby mouse


our cappucino 水烟

below are some pics i took quite a couple of days ago.
but lazy to load.


e fatty yet sexy cat who lives in e old parliament house.


finally..i finished work!


wee~

tml workin 11-6!
so shiok.
most probably goin to catch a movie w baby..
i'm so gonna catch that movie..
"painted skin"!
seems so nice!

ok.
i'm gonna wait for baby to finish his supper den call him.
meanwhile..
i'm gonna lie on my comfy bed.
so steam-ed today..
12.5 hrs tgt with teppy..
cos juan came at 12pm.
lunch was busy but dinner was pathetic lor.

tml got lotsa work waitin for me to complete it.
haix.
hectic workload these few days.
in jus less than a week's time..
vm staffs are coming to join us.
a big headache combining our schedule..
suddenly overstaffed.
short of staffs caused me a big headache.
but..
now,
lotsa of my part-timer staffs waitin for me to give them schedule..
includin my full-timers..
yet,
i got a super big headACHE for having so many staffs at one go.
u see..
life is just so funny..
making a hell out of human beings.

oh well.
shall end here.
nitex.

poor yvonne..

eek*
tml work 3pm de..
but..
i need to attend a 4-hr course..
sth related to management ba..
i tink i'm gonna slp thru out e whole course..
its 9am-1pm..
die die die!
its so gonna be damn boring!
omgness*
somemore still need to go back vl to work at 3pm all e way to closing!
argh.
f**k.
nb.nb.nb -

i so feel like not goin..
pon!
but i scared winnie & fred will get to know..
better not.
even wanna fall aslp also must fall aslp there..
haix.

yvonne..yvonne..
u poor lil thingy~

happie 1yr 7mths to us~

got this cute video from my fren..
so kawaii~

had pizza today!
finally!
went to Pizza Hut @ marina square..
e service damn jialat.
everything so slow.
even getting e bill also made us waited for more than 5mins!~
e manager forgot lor!
luckily e pizza & our ice-cream can cover up for e slow service..
omgness*
den slack ard while waitin for e movie to start..
waited for almost 1hr..

jus came back home from movie..
watched "mirrors" with my baby..
not bad la..
e music freaks us out!

btw,
happy 1yr 7mths to us!
wee*

baby went home le.
i shall be waitin for his sms.
shall call him & chat awhile den slp.

nitex guys..

u bitch!

my dearest gal..
no worries ok.
i guess he shud noe wat to do..

she's just simply a bitch la.
to the bitch..
pls stop acting like a innocent gal, flirting & goin ard sms-ing other gals' bf!
u'll get it one day..
u'll nvr find true love..
if there's one just right infront of u..
it might be someone who is cheating u!
so..pls stop your shits~

gal..
i'm always with u.
don hide everything to urself..
i noe u put in everything this time..
i hope everything will turns out well for u.
gd luck ok.
no more foolish thinking ok*

活在黑暗的世界。。

我的世界是黑的。。
我因为太过花时间在工作上，
忽略我的亲戚。。
我失去我的表兄妹。。
已经没联络了。。
其实在我的心里，
我是真的很难过！
虽然忙只是一个借口，
但事实上，
我的工作时间真是排到满满！
我是不可能在周末休息的。。
可是好想都没人理解过我。

我的表姐都已经注册结婚了。。
但我根本都不知道。。
直到我看到她的网上日记。
我真的为她感到很开心也充满祝福！
但我的祝福其实是多余的。。
有没有不都是一样的吗？

我每年的新年都很期待看到他们。。
但同时也很害怕。。
因为一到那里就没骂个不停。。
搞到我都不敢过去了。。
所以他们误会我！
以为我是因为母亲过世后就翅膀硬了然后不管他们！
我根本都没有这样的想法。。
每当想过去的时候，
我就很怕被骂！
所以一直都有所保留！
就这样很久都没有过去。。
从以前的几个月去1次。。
后来慢慢变成1年只去1次！
而且是在新年的时候才去。。
他们又认为过去只是拿个红包吃顿饭就拍拍屁股走人了。
误会就是那么深的。。

我唯一能相信的表姐是佩珊。。
年纪只有1年的距离。
从我第1次的失恋，
唯一的亲人也只有她知道。
唉。。

我最近都很忧郁。。
但很多时候都不知道我到底不开心什么。。
有时又突然哭起来，
却又不知道到底再哭些什么！
我真得很辛苦！

我已经失去了很多很多东西。。
可能因为这样，
我在现在感情路上有很多不开心的事发生。
我很敏感。。
总是怕宝贝会离开我或在外面有其它的女人。
我知道宝贝是爱我的。。
可是有些时候我还是没有安全感。。
总是没法给他100%的信任。
我做人真的是做到很失败。。
我是一个失败者！

其实谁对我好，
谁对我不好，
我的心里是最清楚的。
我只是没说出来罢了！
只是我很不喜欢我的阿姨每次在很多人的面前说我这个那个！
自尊心都受损了。
每次一过去都说个不停。。
我哪里还敢过去？
过去就等于找挨骂！
不就是送羊入虎口吗！？

我现在最需要的是我的宝贝！
因为我把全部的爱和精力都放在他的身上了！
也就是因为我很多时候都很敏感的最大原因。
我知道宝贝一直认为我不信任他，
在他的眼里，我是个长不大的孩子！
我从小就是这样。。
我并不是故意的！
我真得很努力去改了。。
但每一次都失败收场！
我真得很怕！
连宝贝都说他累了。。
我只想和他在一起！

除了宝贝，黄成华。。

我的心里根本容纳不下任何人！

我很希望宝贝会理解我现在的心情！

c o n f u s e d

i dono if i'm feelin sad or not..
mixed feelings.
am i having depression problems again?
i feel like crying..
i suddenly feel so lonely..
seems like no one is here for me..
no one is here to care for me..
is that really so?
or my depression causes me to think like this?
i have been complaining to baby for his lack of time, care & concern..
quarrels & quarrels are all we had these few days.
all i did was mainly..
cry..cried..cry again.
non stop these few days..
every night!
damn torturing.

wats really wrong with me?
izzt bcos workload is too stressful for me to take it?
is this why i became like this?

alone in e vip room.
haix.
so quiet.
even my heart doesnt have the energy..
seems like my heart is lazy too.

argh*
how come i dono wat i'm feelin?
how come!
i hate this!
i feel like slping..
yet i cant..

i feel like crying..
yet again..
i cant!

nb.

mediacorp filming at vl..

today mediacorp went to vl for some shooting..
those staffs are very nice..
like josephine..moonhwa..
saw dasmond koh also..
he apologised for those "guests" who broke some of my plates..
even josephine also..
but weird..
e "auntie" who broke it nvr apologise..
somemore like act like nth happened!
i was like..
eyes widen!
dasmond disappeared after awhile.
left josephine & moonhwa..
moonhwa is the senior producer..

gd luck to josephine..
she ate the wasabe squid jus after she finished her chix pox period.
hopefully nth happens.
god bless her.
i'll sure give her 15% when she comes by next time!

yummy yummy

mentioing about ytd night..
walk back to vm wif simon.
then we met simon at chinatown.

had supper with my baby, simon & juan..
wahs..
simon know ppl there de lor..
so funny..
had jokes also..
laugh like hell..
simon kept makin fun of juan.
somemore they shared a piece of beancurd.
lolx.

then he gotta rush to his bus stop take bus..
juan walked with him..

so me & baby walked back to e carpark.

baby is buying new car..
or should i say already buy liao?
cos now he's preparing the documents..
fred already type out his letter..
now only his pay slip left..
he's happy now.

i guess my position drop down again..
cos now..
e top position is his coming new car..
guys..
forever e same.

i think i really think too much..
my bad habit..
ok.
i must get rid of that.

today off.
nth to do.
spent all my time watching TVB dramas..
shiok.

sianx..

finished work at 7.30pm..
but i am still in vl..
spider ask me oversee how they work.
nb.
i tot i can get some new blouse today..
idiot!

there's a couple in my rest..
they have this "Celiac Disease".
things like rye, oats, barley & wheat are strictly not for them.
i was so paisehx jus now..
cos i already changed to my own clothes..
juan came to me & insist me to go out.
so nb one.
ok.
no choice.
i went out.

now waiting for simon to go bk vm..
cos i walkin back with him.

tonight shall be spending my night with my baby.

byebye.

being loved is such a wonderful thing

so tired today.
argh.
i am so busy.
oh gosh..

thanks baby for the mickey mouse keychain!
love u.
u changed alot for me.
i knew it.
i feel it all these while.
thanks baby.
but pls do not neglect my feelings at certain times.
cos those "certain times" might be my worst periods in my entire life.
thanks to baby who gave me more attention than before..
u cared much more for me now.
i didnt say it.
but deep inside my heart..
it seems to be jumping up down without control.
my heart feels so happie & being loved.

i will try to control my temper as well..
thats my target!

i love u, baby!
God sent u to me.
adam wong, u are the most wonderful gift that i ever had.
cos u made me feel everything.
very sad..
very happy..
very lonely..
as well as,
care & concern from u.
your attention given to me.
your once-awhile little gifts.
most of all..
your time.

i hope things will remain like this.
but i know its another dream of mine.
cos every r/s goes thru ups & downs.
staying side by side supporting each other during thunderstorm period will make our love grows stronger.
i believe so.

sick

feel so sick.
having fever.
not enuff rest.
my voice still not steady yet.
nose slightly better..
but still..

no one seems to care..
feel so lonely..

:'(

no brains. pissed off.

today supposed to work split shift.
but ended up full shift again.
fuck.
all bcos of e stupid withered rose.
she simply got no brains.
nb la..

its all bcos of her alone..
me & juan work like fuck.

i so hate her now.
today is my 1st time that vl need 5 staffs to work evening.
5 staffs also not enuff.
the rest was full!
omgness*

but luckily..
thanks to the two japanese couple who made my evening brighter..

i was so pissed off jus now.

tml workin morn again..
sianx sia..
i'm so gonna drop dead at any minute.

ok.
stop here.
i am so tired of typing nonsenses..
jus wanna vent my anger off here.

sucky life.

i am so tired today..
as usual..
e meeting took so long to finish..
i guess i have nvr been so tired all these years.
this year is my most tiring year in my entire life.

no mood to do anything now.
jus wanna post a short update before i jump to my bed.
ok.
thats about it for now.

i guess i wont be online tml.
cos i'm will be damn damn damn tired tml.

10.30am-11pm.
oh manx.
i so hope time will pass super fast tml.
don even noe how am i gonna survive..

sianx la.
i am so hoping for my next off day even though i already had my 2 off days on tue & wed.
argh!
wtf!
life totally sucks now.
dammit.

no rest. staff gathering. steamboating session.

i am so occupied with stuffs these few days.
omg*
nvr had a day of rest.

tuesday-
tot i can wake up later then meet baby to collect his report.
BUT..
ended up i couldnt make it.
COS..
spider woke up me with so many smses askin me to go boss office for meeting.
sounds so urgent.
ok.
i woke up with a very reluctant look.
i am given a tough assignment.
omgness*
rush all e way down to toa payoh.
met up with ady.
cos we are the only ones who are called to be there.
spider drove us down to vm.
so i waited for spider.
cos she said she is driving me back to vl.

so i slacked at vl for awhile den go marina to meet my bro.
had a very full & yummy meal at Yotei Restaurant.
i wanted to treat him.
but..
he insisted.
i cant even see e receipt.

tot i wun attend e staff gathering.
then baby last min changes his mind.
so we went lor.
had supper at Lau Pa Sat.
wah.
food was alot.
but couldnt really finish.
some of e food sucks.
cannot make it sia.

kinda steam-ed on tues nite.
went home.
bathe.
slp.

today is wed-
den mornin time..
baby woke up for work.
i had to wake up too.
cos i had dental appointment at 12pm.
but i reach there at 12.30pm.
ok.
i'm a late queen.
then rush to ICA to collect my new passport.

after that went down vl to meet my rach darling.
reason: steamboating session.
so shiok lor.

see how busy i am?

met her fren also.
she is jane.
quite ok la.
chattable.
at least not dull ppl...

but we saw a gal over there..
so kb.
tink she so pretty like tt..
yucks.

tml work split shift.
but i cannot have split.
meeting at 3pm.
argh*
why is my schedule so hectic de?

i feel like i'm a super busy career women.
lolx*

心里有很多的为什么。。。

我相信每个感情都需要安全感。
我却没了安全感！
我只是要听你的解释。。
但你骂我。。
你竟然说你不要再见到我了。。
好吧。。
但你不知道。。
在这一年半载，
你已经对我说了无数的不想见到我。
我也受到了无数的伤害。

你因为生气就不理会我没了安全感的心情。
你因为烦就骂我。
我都不知道你再烦些什么。。
刚才半途中，
眼泪一直流。。
脑袋空空。
只想要哭。。
看到别的情侣手拉手走在一起，
我的心更是碎了！

我没生气。
难道吃醋都有错吗？
为什么我和别的女人相差那么远？
她们都幸福快乐。。
那些幸福小女人得到的宠爱真是多到很令人羡慕！

那我呢？
我为什么得不到我想要的宠爱？
为什么我想要你给我多一点点的注意力但最后只换来被挨骂的后果？
我需要的关心和宠爱最后换来的是你的不理睬。
我是女人。
这些都是我必须拥有的!
我这样的想法有错吗？

我的感冒越来越糟糕！
已经快要两个星期了。。
没变化就算了。。
可是为什么越变越惨！？

为什么我会落到这个地步？

难道我这辈子都不会拥有一个对我死心塌地的人吗？

tired. tired. tired.

went wif baby to have our typhoid injection.
oh..
its kinda painful.
no more strength to carry heavy stuffs after that.
tot it wun be busy..
but..
i was so so so wrong lor!
today was so busy like hell.
sales today quite good.
but we are so shag after everything.
working opening tml..
sianx.
hopefully time passes faster.
cos i'll be finishing at 6pm tml!
wee*

i will be busy ba..
gotta interview someone in e afternoon.
den carry on with my checklist.
after that..
go home!

opps.
cannot.
i need to shop for a bag!
my bag is spoilt!
i need a new bag desperately!
omg*
i hope i can find a bag which i really like & useful for me..
cos i have lotsa rubbish to put inside!
lolx*

ok.
gotta end here for now.
i am damn damn damn tired.

loves..

today's dinner was very slow.
sianx.
working with teppy & juan.

since they are hungry..
so i ordered fish noodles & frog leg claypot rice for e 3 of us to share.
but too bad..
when we finish our closing..
e fish noodles turned cold.
but its still yummy-licious.
e rice is so fragrant!

a small lil treat for them once a while..
my pocket is still managable.
hang on..
i only treat those who helped me when i need help the most.
whoever can work..whoever cant work..whoever is lazy..
i knew it.
i just kept quiet.
thats all.

ppl like judy & teppy, my 2 precious service crews..
they are my 2 vietnamese darlings.
of cos..not forgetting juan, my all-time full timer service crew as well..
she help me most of e time when i needed.

million of thanks to them.
when i am really busy wif tons of paperwork waiting for me to be done..
they are those who help me look after e rest without me worrying about anything like disappearing elsewhere.
they understood my stress & workload.
thats one of e reason why i am so willing to fork out some money to give them a lil treat.
i am happy to treat them.
after all..
they will be happy too :)

when those ppl are happy..
i will be happy too.
i can always depend on them.

one day if i leave e company..
i will miss them loads.

[[pics uploaded]]

ok.
some pics posted.
i know..
supposed to be few weeks ago..
well.
u guys who knew me should know how busy i am with my workload.
those pics were taken on the night when we went to timbre.
was so high that day!
thanks to rach darling who intro me to drink erdinger.
shiok.
so smooth.
damn nice to slp after that.
was so high after 2 rounds.
even pat korkor said i lost my drinking skills.


love triangle? lolx.


our ah pat korkor~


our weibin korkor~


i <3 her, my rach darling


after our rounds of erdinger..i'm getting high high high~


even higher~~~


i think its her turn to be high~

i am so sick these few days.
bad cough.
bad flu.
argh.
plus the 1 hr++ working under heavy rain made my cough & flu worse.
sucks.
nose blocked.
voice changed.
sb sianx.

i guess i am going to be a marketing assistant soon..
happy or sad?
sorry..
i dont know.

heartbroken.

i am so sad today.
here it goes..
i reported at vl at 8am today.
of cos..
some staffs are late.
my dearest staff, judy, went thru something which made my heart totally shattered.
no one can imagine how i feel.

she was told by "HER" to do clearing under the rain.
its not light drizzling.
its heavy rain!
omgness*
she was all alone standing outside to do clearing.
she was crying alone outside.
no one even notice.
i failed to notice until OM told me.
wtf*

i felt like a failure.
i failed to protect my staff welfare.
i totally failed as a head.

my feeling sucks.
judy cried.
juan cried.
i even cried.
it was like wtf!

i need someone to talk to..
where is the "someone"?

wishing cigarette

finally back home.
did nth much these few days.
my special day was gone just like that.
oh well.
no point talkin about it le.

tummy aching like hell.
whole body stil weak.
strength not totally back yet.
head is like so floating away..

i believed in lotsa things.
eg. like wat rach darling did..
a wishing cigarette!
oh well.
pls don laugh at her ok~
i didnt believe it at 1st.
but now..
i actually did this foolish thingy & make a foolish wish.

come to think of it..
when u're desperately hoping for something which is not easy to come by..
every chances are gonna be your hope right?

ok.
yes..
i didnt wish for striking 4D or have lotsa money lor.
i wished for..
stopped`
my wish is a secret.
its a very simple wish.

ppl who noes me well shud be able to guess it out.
& i noe the 1st person to guess it correct will be my bestest budd till my last breath..
the person is..
Yamada Kenji
武内幸 田野!

u're the one who knows me the best throughout my whole entire life.
ppl always mistaken us as a couple.
but..
we are not in love.
not now..not in e future.

kenji is in a relationship.
i am in a relationship too.
BUT..
we are not tgt in a relationship.
we are just the bestest budd in life which ppl envy our friendship.

ok.
i shud end here now.
gonna rest 1st..

tonight might be meeting mich for dinner @ raffles city.
if so..
i will tabao some yummy food for my baby adam.

P.S: mich..i so gonna hate u..cos u always last min call me de! u nb!

nb.no brains.idiotic asshole.

stupid om..
so stupid..
no brains.
nb.

today damn tired.
suddenly busy during dinner time.
that women made me so pissed off.
who u tink u are..
hypocrite.
i had enuff of u ok!
idiotic asshole.

wee*

haha.
i am working now.
yet i am surfing..
no guest de..
sb sianx.
jus now teach juan do cocktail teach until i wanna vomit blood liao.
she drop this drop that..
funny..
omgness*
wanna laugh oso cannot laugh.

ok.
don talk liao.
shall continue my work..
finish up my inventory.
cya~

:)

田野回来了！
还好我们的横滨没什么受到影响。。
担心死我了。。
谢谢你，田野！
多亏你一直帮我~
我没办法回去！
真是糟糕！

田野，
我知道谁想我了！
当然。。
我知道不会是你啦！
你心里也只有美雪！
你最好赶紧把她追回来啦！
别以为我不知道。。
nicholas和michelle都告诉我了。。
哈哈！
加油哦！
我等你的好消息。。
美雪注定是跟定你了！

我最近好惨。。
你都不知道！
做什么都不顺利！
这几天一直用眼泪洗脸！
真惨！

我是故意用华文写的。。
因为你每次都来这里偷看我现在的人生进展！
所以啊。。

你大概只看懂你自己的名字吧！
我懂。。
你一定会叫nicholas一字不漏地讲给你听！
没关系。
反正我也不是说你的坏话！
你一定很惊讶吧。。
我的华文进步了很多对吗？
我有太多华文老师正在努力教导我~~~
我的华文程度已经不像两年前了！

好了。。
我还是去睡觉了。。
不然老得快就没人要咯！

blank mind.

i am so sad.
no one cares for me.
i stared at the screen.
mind is blank.
tears keep flowing.

he got me.
now he doesnt cherish me.
i knew the reason.
we are drifting apart.

he left.
he didnt turn back.
i guess so.
my heart knows the answer already.

tears flowed.

shagged von

my eyes are closing..
swollen & puffy.
lack of sleep.
lack of time for lotsa stuffs.

i wanna go timbre enjoy a yummylicious session with my rach darling..
finally remember.
shall ask her tml.
wee*
i wanna have pizzas..
i love pizzas.
omg*
i wanna eat.
i am so so so hungry.
its been ages since i enjoyed my dinner.
i wanna have a big buffet feast.

nth has been going smoothly for me.
everything is haywired.
wth.

tired of shits.

i bought my TSGS vol.18 liao!
i saw my own story!
omg*
i saw my name printed under the winners column!
i still cant believe it.

tml working 1030am-1030pm.
12hrs straight shift.
wonder how am i gonna pass time tml..
function tml.
damn sianx.
why function forever nvr ending de?
i hate all these.
omg*

everytime sure get scolding.
so sick & tired!

i hate the gal!