proving myself...

today went for lessons at 1.30pm.
reach there at ard 1.20pm..
nobody was there yet.
i was the earliest!
hehe*
but ytd i came back home at ard 3am+++..
slept ard 5am..
waliew..
it was actually a reluctant thought to wake up at 12.00pm.
but thinking it was business organisation today..
better not skip it.
wanna slp also must fall aslp there.
lucky today got buy sweets..
if not i really fall asleep.
but hor..
the lecturer talk quite fast..
sat with eve & alice today..
but alice was slightly late.

got a 15mins break at 3pm.
wahs..the whole place was freaking cold like fuck*
even the jacket i was wearing on couldn't be of much use.
wth..
i really need a jacket la!

haix..
i was abit worried.
got lotsa stuffs to memorise..
i'm really scared!
i don wanna fail..
i wanna study hard this time round!!!
i must do it!

何淑贤。。你要证明给大家看，你是能做到的！
加油！加油！加油！

气死我了！

肚子痛了一整天。。
人有不舒服！
好痛苦！
今天被冤枉了。。
把我显得很像一个不负任的人。
弄得我真的伤心死了
讨厌鬼！
大老鼠！
被你气到快发疯了。。

唉。。
没有人能够明白我的感受。。
总是说真话的时候就没人信我！
我的心真是乱了！

boredd.
boredd.
boreddddddddd....

sian la..
dono wat to do at home..
eating.
slacking.
sleeping.
watching tv.
daydreaming.
i already surf net until sian liao..
played gunbound..audition..online mahjong..
i'm sick of it liao la!
how i wish i am working now..
still can earn money & not wasting money & time!
ah..
i miss my vm colleages..
omg*
ytd saw sheila & haedee..
haedee's smile is always so sweet towards me.

ytd my darling, rach went to japan for holiday..
will be away for a week..
will miss her like mad.
tml got BO lessons le..
still no plans for sat nite.
argh..

another thursday..

wahs..
derek show me another pattern again!
waliew*
i'm going mad.......
just now called derek..
he say he haven got my timetable yet..
but i already give weibin my timetable on monday lor!
ah bin said he put on his tray liao!
i also not stupid!
i also sms winnie my schedule.
like that he cant escape & push all the blame on me.
BLEAHxxx~~~
hopefully i can start work next week.
gonna pia work from thurs-sun!
no money ler!
die la die la!
no money hard to survive!

i wanna go swimming leh..
i wanna go suntanning also..
but who wanna acc me?

i need a jacket so desperately!
haix..
i so wanna get my blue ADIDAS jacket since don't know how long ago....
my hair turning white le..
i wanna earn money to get it..
last time saw that jacket..
but cost ard 100+++!

:'( :'( :'(
these few days suffering in coldness thru out the whole lesson on mon & wed.
ytd gotta knew 2 new friends..
Alice & Eve.
waliew..
my class only got 3gals including me.
sian la..

i need a new pencil box! ( still can wait.. )
i need a jacket asap! (DESPERATELY..i'm gonna turn into ice! )
i wanna start work ASAP! ( hope so..don drag my time le..i pok like siao already! )

just uploaded the pics on tue @partyworld *


joey face was slightly cut off..



shihua & me



shihua, ling & me -shot1



shihua, ling & me -shot 2



ling & me -shot1



ling & me -shot2



joey, shihua, me & ling -shot1



joey, shihua, me & ling -shot 2

so romantic lor..

ytd was jeremy & ling's 1month anniversary...
me & patrick kor planned a surprise for them at 3.00am.
walao*
we can get the best 2007 best actor & actress!
so envy them!
my 1month anniversary was doing nothing..
nvm ba >_<"

went ktv with pat,ah bin,lyn,rach,ah keong,ah jui,ian,ling,jeremy,shihua..
took some pics..
will upload the pics nxt time.
din sing much..
keep eating watermelon & titbits.

going out later..

going to bathe now..

byeeee-

P.S: ling & jeremy sms me with a very sweet thank you. so heartwarming lor..makes the things we have done & planned so worthwhile for them. thanks for your sms! love u both:))

i'm being accused! F**K it!

walao.
i was slping halfway..
was awaken by winnie's call..
asking me to tell her honestly about something..
i was framed up!
thats stupid De*ek!!!!
anyhow put words into my mouth.
fucker!
wtf!?
he say i put my working schedule and never turned up for work.
YES..
i did give him my schedule..
but its not at VM..
i want it at VL.
nvm.
that time he replied saying that i gotta work at VM first..
i don't want.
i wasnt aware of anything...my god!
so i din reply him.
thinking of it..
it was getting more & more ridiculous..
LAME ar! if he really did put my schedule..
he would have called me long ago & ask why i never turn up right?
why wait after a week & tell winnie this shit?
so obvious he want to backstab me!
another DOGGY after him...
worse than apple polisher..
speechless*

2 more days before my lessons start..
just heard from adam that its ah pow birthday..
going ktv later..

latest pics ---

yummy lunch :))

today had lunch with my sis & bro in law for lunch @ vivo..

had sushi buffet..

yummy*

until now my stomach still bloated >__<"

supposingly i'm treating her..

but end up she treated me..

then i sponser my niece's toys..

but then..

ended up..

my sis never managed to get one she likes..

actually wanna get the dancing duckie..

but one duckie dont have eyes..

LOLx*

another duckie's packaging is damaged..

spent almost 1hr in the store but .........

saw meifang when i came out from the washroom..

shuwen was waiting for her outside.

then after that finally bought my hairdryer which i wanted to get one for ages..

later going out to meet jeremy & ling for supper after they finish work.

quite long time nvr go out with ling liao..

kinda happie also.

but today suay la..

i kana tummy cramp.

wanna go out now to get something at tiong..

but now RAINING!!!

WTF!?

die lor..

waliew..

3more days before my lessons start..

dont know why..

kinda stress..

maybe i'm afraid i cant catch up or what ba..

anyway..

i'm stopping here now..

gotta have my shower & watch channel 55!

money is so hard to earn..!
haix..
i must really learn how to control my budget!!

idiotic headache..

woke up at 1pm..
big headache again~
winnie called me ard 10plus..
but i was too tired and i din pickup.
then 12plus..
judie called me and ask me whether wanna over at vietlang for the time being..
since i am not working elsewhere yet..
so i said ok.
as long as i'm ok under KS den ok liao.
later gotta make my way down to VL to see her..
she wanna tell me something.
but before that..
i gotta take a passport size photo for my student pass.
gonna start school in 4days time.
i am still slacking ard..
instead of preparing myself.
gotta get myself a bag also.
hmm..
my pay will be in tml.
i wanna get my bag for studying purpose.
so don wanna use my pink puma bag..
its so precious to me.
now it's dirty..
gotta wash it soon:))

was chatting with jon & jeremy just now.
well..hope jon will recover from his stomach flu soon.
jeremy seems ok..
pretty fine with my mei, lingling.
anyway..
i gotta have my lunch now.
hungry*

confused mind

i am kinda confused now.
heart feels so heavy..
& yet i don't know why..
is it because i am still clinging on to my memories?
seriously..i don't want just memories..
i want now & forever.
but the situation now seems like it can only be memories.
i so don't wanna let go..u know..
haix.
i don't know what i really want now..
i feel so terrible.
everytime i am upset..
my health always go downhill.
why?
feel like vomiting now..
but i cant seem to throw up anything..
the feeling is much more worse..
i rather throw up everything which made me feel uncomfortable.
don't torture me like this.
i am so gonna break down.

heart pieces

my heart feels so empty.
so wanna sms anytime i want..
so wanna call anytime i want..
but i cant.
i cant let myself repeat the old mistake.
all i can say is..
i will wait for the 2 months.
thou i know there isnt a glimpse of hope at all..
but i'm willing to wait.
jun jie made an international call to me ytd..
telling me..

"mei mei, wats meant to be yours will be yours. true love comes with nvr-ending tests. overcome it if u think u are capable..not by ending it when u cant take it at the last moment & telling yourself u're gonna give up cos u're tired. the right way for love to end is the day when both doesnt love each other anymore. if love still exists in both of u..you can move on with your life, but not your heart..it will still remain at the same old place, bleeding & unable to move. in a relationship, u're like going on a roller coaster with ups & downs. nvr-ending tests will always take place till the day u die or the day both partners' love for each other fade. if a person couldnt take tests & go for another r/s...it's like a circle..you will come back to square 1. u will end up having the same problem in the end. u gotta be strong & endure all this. if he ever realise how r/s goes, he may still come back to you."

thanks kor.
i hope i will not let u down.
2 more months..
i will wait.
whether it will work or not..
i have to be prepared.
all i know is that i've tried my best.
thats enough i guess.
i must tell myself that these 2months is to let both of us have a cooling period at a single mode.
its self-consoling..i know.
but now..
this is the only solution i can have for hanging on for 2months.
i will have to go thru this test myself this time..alone with nobody else.

may the god above me bless me to tide over this period.

an unpredictable friday!

today went down to VM..
happily thoughts..
thinking that i can finally get my pay..
supposingly i'm gonna get my pay cheque..
but that idiotic DEREK made me wait & wait & wait!
walao!
in the end..i didnt get the cheque.
i went back home.
i waited for almost 2hrs..
called him..
he said coming liao..
wtf!
when i finally got angry and called him again..
after 45mins..
he's still at VL!
NNB CCB!
hell sia!
he's so not trustable at all!
still say he's a very fair person..
fuck it la!



anyway..
went MOS with VL & VM staffs last thurs..
tertiary fling**


some latest pics of me & the MOS pics uploaded :))























candid shot 1




















candid shot 2
















rach, lyn, me, ling















ah bin kor, adam, patrick kor

PS: there's 1 more pic of me & adam but..my smile look weird..so i didnt upload it. :X

sickk _____.

fallen sick..
coughing like mad..
sneezing like fuck..
i even lose my voice!
now i sound like a guy..
few days ago..my voice already sound funny..
patrick said like that very sexy ma..
wtf?!
lolx*

later going to have steamboat at KOKA.
but my throat giving me trouble..
cant even enjoy i guess..
haix..
even my pimples start popping out again!
suay la!
why???

MOS tonight~

tonight going MOS!
will be seeing lyn, rach, pat, bin & more..


damn damn damn..
i'm losing my voice..
throat so damn painful!
argh*
pls don't take my voice away..

damn bored at home now..
I MISS MY DEAR!


pat just called me..
he said sam was fired..

AHAHA*
i don't know how i feel also..
he fired me..
now he was fired.
lolx*
acting so smug all the time..
as if he's so great & able to do things..


ytd winnie called me..
haix.
asking me to go back viamar..
but i so wanna be at vietlang..
so i asked derek..
but he said freddy want me to work at viamar first..
alamak*
headache.


anyway..the pics below are my latest snapshots:)
hehe*





















negative side of me




















nathaniel & me




















close shot




















candid shot 1




















candid shot 2

hungry..

having my tom yam maggie mee now..
was real hungry till i'm tossing ard on my bed.
omg*
my mind was thinking talking to itself..
should i eat or not?
finally..
it came to a conclusion.
i gotta eat..
if not i'm not gonna fall aslp till daybreak.
later in the afternoon,
i will be meeting derek to see wats he gonna say.
dono la..
hopefully its nth bad.
anyway..
i'm ending here.
nth much to add on anyway.