我对宝贝的爱。。

没有人可以阻挡我对黄成华的爱。。

我不会因为任何事影响到我们之间的三年一个月的感情。。

我们在一起走过的风风雨雨。。
不管未来会有什么狂风暴雨。。
我们都会一起度过。。
彼此成为彼此的屋顶和避风港。
彼此成为彼此的温暖。
是没有人可以代替的。。
因为我不会让任何人取代他的位置！
我的心也容不下其他人。
除了我的宝贝。。
黄成华！

我只爱他。。

他就是。。

黄成华！

newly pics

latest pic taken last week with my dearest niece, rachel.
heavy rain that day..
she's wearing that barbie doll pinkie raincoat.
was alone with her..
thought i wouldnt be able to handle her "stunts"!
but surprisingly,
she was so obedient.
i was damn shocked.


HERE GOES THE BABY SUCKLING PIGGY!











now i realise my photography skills aint bad at all.
in fact,
im getting more & more better at it.
haha*
guess i got my practicing by helping the guest to take pics.

yes.
its true.

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT!

thats all i have got for now.

will be back for new updates.
cya everybody.
nitex.

boredd.

so boring.

baby is slping like a dead log!
play texas poker play until sianx liao!
already very stone-ed.

tml working 11-6!
yippee!

the main troublesome thing is..
i do not have any plans for tml with baby!
cos baby's working 11-5!
nabei*
how come he can be earlier than me?

hmm..
i wish i can feel slpy now..
so that i can join baby as well.
guess he will slp till tml liao!
argh*

wat can i do now?
tell me pls..

im so boredd!
no games are attracting my attention!

come on!

omgness*

又打回原形。。

我真的跟他一点关系都没有！
你为什么不相信？
我都已经证明给你看了。。
但你还是用这种方式对待我。。
这就是你想要的结果吗？

你每次的忽冷忽热。。
我很辛苦。。
很心碎！
你到底知不知道。。

难道我们卖的戒指一点意义都没有吗？

我不勉强你了。。
你想要怎样对我就随你吧！

我没有做什么对不起你。。
那天不是说好了吗？
一起床你又打回原形！

我很辛苦！
我哭到快要垮了！

quick updates

i was terribly occupied with baby & work.
well..
at least i am happy now.

baby showered his love, care & concern to me.
maybe because of that CNY incident,
we learnt to cherish each other more ever since.

went to get our new pair of rings just 2 weeks ago.
after that we went to pizza hut @ marina square.
cant believe baby has the mood to ride his bike all the way from iluma to marina.
this is real weird cos its not his usual behaviour.
its just his cravings for pizza.
had a super big, yummy yet super duper filling meal.
we ordered a personal pan pizza & a 10-inch pizza.
im so struggling to finish it all.
& yes..
we managed to conquer the whole thingy w/o even leaving any single piece left!
furthermore,
we actually had a fried scallop for appetizer before pizza arrives!

our rings arrived the shop on 17march'2010.
too bad i gotta work the whole day.
baby gotta collect it for me.
thought that we can collect it together!
damn*

on the 18march'2010,
i gotta work the whole day..
& baby finished work at 6pm.
thought that this anniversary is a gone case again.

but this is not all.
when i reach home..
baby sms-ed me.
ask if i've eaten or not..
i said no.
he said he will eat with me then!
so i replied..
if u really eat with me,
by the time u reach..
i no need to eat also full liao!

the next minute,
i received his call.
checking if im home.
& i said yes.
he said he don believe.
so i said im really at home!
then he ask me to open the door.
so..
i really walked to the door & peeped at the door hole.
there aint anybody!
kns!

so i called him back & said there's nobody outside the door at all!
he said i nvr open the door!
ok.
so i opened the door..
he popped out from the sideways which i cant possibly see from the view of my door hole!

damn* damn* damn*
cant u imagine the happiness that i've got?!
its such a wonderful surprise.

oh well..

no words can describe how i feel now.

im super duper in love again!

felt like i have just known baby 3 years ago & it seems like we have just started in this r/s.

this feeling is wonderful.

been thru so many thunderstorms, tsunami, super freaking bad weather & so on..

glad that we are still holding on tight together.

baby is really changing for the sake of me.

i am touched.

very touched.

very very touched.

i am looking forward to a new journey of life with baby.

school will be starting on 28april'2010.
will be paying school fees on monday.
this is shit.
i am so nervous.
feeling the stress already!
i nvr feel so gan-jiong before!

i am glad that i have been accepted to take BA..
my next target is to finish this degree so that i can stop studying liao!

i must really work extremely hard cos i don wanna disappoint my dad.
furthermore,
my dad is supporting me by using his savings just for my degree!

my target now is to be more frugal!
i must do it.

• smoke less!
• spend less on online shopping!

现在。。
我最最最想要做的是。。
为了宝贝，
我一定要做好一个好女朋友的责任！
我要好好对待这段感情。。
我的疼爱和关心只能奉献给我最爱的成华！

因为我，
何靓怡。。爱。。黄成华！

始终还是一样。。

为什么你每次有话想说但又不说。。
为什么非得等到最后一分钟才告诉我。。
你以为这样就是对的吗？
我很讨厌这种感觉。。
你知道你这样做。。
我会很难受吗！？

为什么你总是喜欢把我带到天堂又突然把拉下地狱！？

过了这次。。
我对你更加失去信心了。

跟你挂了电话后。。
我的眼泪就不受控制了。
这些你都知道吗？

你不想就说不想。。
不要拿我头痛的借口！
我不知道是不是关心。。
但对我来说都是借口！

你无法想象我现在的感受是如何的。。

你又再次让我证明我对你的想法是对的。。
“对你的期望就等于给我自己失望”

我受不了你每次最后一分钟的改变。。
我的心一次又一次被割伤。。
你对我的承诺，
我不敢再认真去期待或等待。
你对我说的话，
我也不敢再认真对待。

Pls take your time to read this...

(The Irreplaceable Void)
So touching and can't resist not to share with you.
A story worth sharing...

4 years ago, an accident took my beloved wife away and very often I wonder,
how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now?
She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid.
'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.

There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work.
Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping.
So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.
With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home.
So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner.
However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all I heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid!

I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'...
a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bed sheet and blanket!
Boy, was I mad!
I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him agood spanking!
He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation: "Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles.
But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around,hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles.
One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return.
But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...
I am sorry Dad..."

At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep.

Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room,and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock,but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs.

And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impressionon his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up. However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time,his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain.

But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write.

Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practice his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too! Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter,and its Christmas time. Everywhere the Christmas spirit is in every passer-by...Christmas carols and frantic shoppers......but alas, my son got into another trouble.

When I was about to knock off from the day's work,the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, 'I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy. My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters.
But recently, when I went back to the post box, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."

After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say......I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, ifyou have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after,he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldn’t help opening the letter before they turn to ash. And one of the letters broke my heart....

Dear Mummy, I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldn’t help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy,I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams sothat I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person inyour dreams. But mummy, why haven’t you appear?

After reading the letter, I can't stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....

For the females with children: Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be somekind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem. Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care of your little precious.

For the married men: Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even business nor clients.Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this society, no one is indispensable.Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious and your loved ones.

For those singles out there: Beauty lies in loving yourself first.With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more than your well being.