haixx..

i thought i will be finishing work at 11pm today.
but..
Sam extended me till 1am.
he made that stupid decision ytd.
walao.
but thinking of it..
i can take cab to dear's house.
but i'm super tired...
everytime like that lor..
everytime he scheduled me to finish at 1am..
everytime i will sure be working in BAR.
there's lotsa EVERYTIME.
why?!!

was browsing and clearing my com's space..
happened to see my own pic taken last year.
so funny..
still having long hair..
i miss my long long hair.
but i know it will take ages to grow it back to the length in my sec sch times.
nvm.
i just have to wait.
my old pics below*
















me & joanne













[ our Students' Council Days// 2004 ]

josephine - me - yanling - candy

the old pic of me taken during my stay in Hongkong.

_________________________________________________________________

hmm. i guess i won't be updating for 2-3days..cos i will be spending my weekend with dear. my precious junhao will be my top priority.

happie for nothing...

i was actually stationed to do service in the ALFRESCO.
during the briefing..
i was praying not to get BAR.
den Sam told me to cover BAR until 7pm.
thats the timing Sean will be reaching.
den suddenly Sam changed his mind.
i will do BAR all the way.
my mind was blank.
i was swearing in my mind..
WALAO!..NBCB la!
sucks lor.
already said i will be doing ALF..
how come just change like that!?
then wats the deployment for?
forget it.
lucky it wasnt busy today.
but i felt so bored being stuck in the BAR.
no one with me except Sam.
SIAN leh..

who really knows how i feel?

at least doing service still can talk around here and there.
also have more freedom.

ok lah.
stopping here liao.
gotta wash my face now.
cos i'm calling my hubby soon.
gdnitex-

sian-sation

argh.
bored like siao.
how i wish i have already rented my TVB show.
if not i will so engrossed with my tv.
wun be seeing dear for 2days.
dear supposed to be working today.
but woke up late...
alamak.

later working night shift again..
so fast leh.
nvr work since last fri.
today is thurs liao.
5days never work.
suddenly gotta go back work..
i seem so dead.
i so wanna skip work and stay at home slack.
but i know i cant.
I WANNA EARN MONEY!
if not i will sure regret when my cheque comes.
no choice lor.
if i earn extras..
at least me and dear will not be so broke during the month-end.

on mask now.
pimples start popping out since last wk.
so sad.
almost 1 month never go facial.
elaine also sms me to remind me for facial.
so busy leh.
either work or acc dear.

haix..
workin in bout 3hrs time.
really sian leh!
guess i'm now more to doing floor service.
started doing floor since last wk.
Sam finally changed my station duty.
no more doing BAR drinks for now i guess?
i think i really love servicing customers.
everytime the customers smile at me..
i have a satisfaction feeling that i have given them good service.
guess even if i change jobs,
it will still be F & B line.
thats Yvonne.

happie day :))

dear not angry with me le!
YaYz!
i took cabbie to his house straight away on monday.
i never even had my breakfast & lunch.
low-blood*
when i reach his house..
he's still so cold towards me.
i was so sad..
i went to the washroom and cried..
after a while,
i sat in the living room to watch tv..
i was so lonely.
only dear's doggie "nicky" came to accompany me.
he hopped onto the sofa and sat with me.
so touched.
den when i went back dear's room..
he said he gonna to watch movie with weizhong.
so i was saying.."ok lor.."
worst still..
we were sitting separately at first in the bus 30.
so xinku lor.
haix.
den i went to sit beside him..
keep asking him not to be angry..
he was laughing -_-"
like that still never mind.
as long as he don't gimme the cold shoulder.

finally he held my hand when we reached the ViVo City.
i was relieved.
everything went fine.
den at night..
OMG*
its over.
we are fine.
oh yah.
we went to boon lay market to chit chat..
with crystal & her best buddie, christine.
only me and dear took beer.
after that still ate mac sia...
wah.
bloated like siao.

TUESDAY.
i came back home ytd to take my swimming suit and stuffs.
den went queensway area..
dear couldnt find his chicken rice stall.
too bad -__-"
nothing much on tues.
den we went back home..
we ordered mac delivery for supper.
mouth itchy?
maybe for dear..
but i'm HUNGRY!
alamak.
growing fat arh!~

time passes fast with dear.
woke up ard 9 plus..
went for morning swim..
so shiok.
but very tired.
swam for bout 1hr plus den headed back home again.
hmm.
i fell aslp.
den dear woke me up..
cos he prepared tuna with egg mayo baguette for me.
so nice.
it was raining heavily too.
nicky came inside the room..
guess he's afraid of thunder.
haha.
den i fed him so of my remaining tuna.
he finish everything.
in the end..i went to fridge to take dog food.

after all these craps..
went to have shower and went to chinatown.
bought some of my stuffs.
den went to have dinner and desserts.
our desserts not very nice though.
i wanna see dear more..
so i also take train thou its only 1 stop..
actually can take bus home.
but don wan la.
i miss dear lots.
thurs-sat cant see him.
cos i working night shift.

hmm.
i'm slping now.
so tired.
eyes shutting down in a moment.
will be back soon i suppose.
gdnite.

i am so damn sad.

haix.
my swimming plans was gone.
dashed hopes.
i wanted so much to go since so long ago..
things kept cropping up.
first..
"gals problem"
second..
"high fever"
third..
"PSI rating high"
i am really sad like hell.
time wasn't in my favour.
but if not going can improve our current situation now..
i rather endure & not go..
th0u i will still be very very sad & disappointed.

and this time..we quarrelled.
no. not really.
we ended up speechless.
die lor.

i think this time we are done with it.
all my fault la.

from now onwards,
i will never say anything.
i will only keep quiet even if i'm boiling to the maximum.

he will only see my happie side from now.

dead...

my fault.

my fault.

my fault.

all cos of me..
he's angry now.
perhaps we are not even meeting.
i took OFF for nothing le..

sad like hell.
but i can only blame it on myself.
blame myself for my freaking bad attitude to him.

suan le ba..
worse to worse,
i munch titbits at home till wed lor.
just pray & pray that time will pass fast.

thats all for now.
sad.sad.sad.......................
feel like dying ar!

tiredd.

hmm.
why ah..
i slept alot..
but still tired..
feel so shag.
so reluctant to go work later.
argh*
its impossible.
i'll get killed for this..
its friday!
will be going his house after work.

ohh.
i should say he's fetching me later..
(( if nth crops up la.. ))
if not i will make my way down myself.
actually used to it somehow..
don mind liao.

i'm even too lazy to type here.
eyes closing..
maybe i should take a super short nap..
& have a cold bath later.
should help eh?
hmm..
guess i wun be able to update for quite a few days..
will be spending time with him next mon-wed.

now..
i'm gonna remove my mask & jump to bed.
SLP!
Zzz.Zzz.zzzzzoooooo

blessed..

i finished work at 11..
took cab to dear's house..
called his house when i was about to reach..
cos not enuff cash.
he already reached when my cab arrived.

hmm..
he already prepared my supper for me.
got sharkfin soup!
i finish every grain of rice he prepared for me.
i was so full..
really cant finish up de..
but..
i really appreciate it.
so i die die also must finish it.
after that..still got cheng tng!
walao.
so shiok*
kinda touched..
everything's been done for me nicely.
omg* my dear!
u made me melt.
so so so sweet of u.
i feel so xinfu being with u..
e more i din regret grabbing this relationship back.

weight gaining liao.
thanks to my dear's love..
keep feeding me with food..
but nvm.
it means he dote on me rite!?

oh manz..
3.35pm liao!
gotta have my shower le.
BYE.BYE.

i'm loving it...

i am behaving more & more like a HongKonger..
but i love it.
i am crazy about TVB actors & actresses since young.
omg*
70% of my mp3 are all cantonese..
15% - Chinese
10% - Japanese
5% - English

ahaha..
dear wanna meet me tonight!
YaYz!
can see him after work le!
as usual..
tonight i will be stationed in BAR!
nvm la..
i'm freaking used to it.
ytd was quite quiet.
my closing was already finished by 11.10pm!
usually its ard 11.30pm de..
hopefully tonight also can finish early..
so that dear don have to wait so long...........

BYE.

yawn*

its a monday again.
woke up at 6am today.
me and dear overslept.
suppose to wake up at 5.
but...

took cab home..
and he headed to his camp.
wun be seeing him tonight cos i'm working night..
furthermore he's staying in his camp tonight.

sadden.
pimples popping out le.
sad like hell.
hmm.
but dear said he will still love me even if tons of pimples pop out.
if really so,
i wun meet him until all those pimples are gone.
i'm serious.
i don wan my bf to go out with me when my face full of pimples.
just now i even put on mask..
extra thick somemore!
haha.
i am a vainpot.
anyway..running late soon.
update again soon.

my words for today:
i love junhao forever.
i will never never leave him.
NEVER!
i wanna shower more love & care to my dearest.
sorry that he couldnt sense my love.
i guess i must have neglected him.
poor him..
he has been treating me very nice these few days.
but i knew it.
i appreciate all those things he had done for me.
i love u my dear.

no changes..

thought i am going home today..
but in the end..
i stayed another night at junhao's house.

SATURDAY.

















went to nic's bdae bbq at east coast with anna.
was rather bored as i doesnt know his friends.
left after an hour.
together with anna..
then met up with dear & friends.
was expecting to watch movie de..
but tickets selling fast..
so went bugis area for, C.A.N cafe for drinks.
hhaa..
talk craps with anna till 11 plus den she took cab home.
me and dear went home also..
obviously,
i went his house la.

SUNDAY.

woke up at 12 plus..
den prepare myself..
went to watch Death Note with dear.
not a bad movie after all.
hopefully can watch my World Trade Center next week.

__________________________________________________________

tml working night liao.
will be attached to BAR for these few weeks i guess.
i'm kinda sick of doing BAR closing le.
everytime when i do BAR,
i never get to go off exactly at my knocking off time.

sian..
was wondering whether to work on coming sat..
actually i don mind.
but i don wanna get stuck in BAR from 6-1.
its torturing!
got a TV infront of me but cant watch..
too BUSY with drinks order!!
i hate to get myself jammed.
when will they attach me to do floor service?

good and bad..

was busy to update on wed as i went to dear's house after work.
suppose to update everything ytd but i was too drowsy after taking medicine.
now i will update everything in one shot.

WEDNESDAY.

i was working as usual.
halfway msging dear..
thought he went home to rest.
i was stuck in BAR(again!) that day.
saw somebody sitting at e ALFresco.
omg*
it was NG JUN HAO.
shocked like hell.
so happie also.
he gave me a big surprise.
den i asked him to sit in BAR.
served him GIN with lime.

he disappeared after paying the bill.
sam said he disappeared so fast..
like the "too fast too furious".
lolx.
i was laughing.
thinking that he gotta rush back to camp.
i msg him to come back cos i wanna talk to him.
and he came back after awhile.

we went behind to talk awhile.
den he gimme a box of chocolates.























omg*
so surprised lor.
so sweet of my dearest junhao.
actually got 6chocos..
but i ate one infront of him.
few days nvr hug him..
so comfy..
a few kisses & huggies from each other.

after awhile..
i gotta go back to work.
he waited for me till 11plus..
den we took train back.
a sweet wednesday night :))

___________________________


THURSDAY.

dear & me took cab in the early morn ard 6am..
but he's going back to work.
i'm going home.
i slept till 12plus den wake up.
bathe & get ready for my sis & bro-in-law to fetch me & my dad up.
its my niece 1st birthday ytd.
gave her a angbao.
















walao.
she looks so cute lor.
but don judge her like that.
she is damn bloody active.
we went restaurant to have our meals..
den i was looking at rachel..
she was smiling at me!
so funny.
lolx.

after lunch..
i met up with dear at orchard stat.
have dinner..
he had curry rice & i had dimsum.
walao.
i was afraid that i will have rashes..
cos all of them have prawns in it.
damn my foul mouth!

we went far east plaza to walk ard den i felt itchness here & there.
walao.
dear was shocked and ask mi to go toilet.
WAHS!
my face all got rashes liao!
so scary.
i almost fainted when i saw my whole face like that.
after that..
dear took me to see doc at tiong there.
got some medcine..
den walk back home.
hmm..
had to take my 1st round of medicine infront of dear.
he sent me to my doorstep and gotta go back camp.
huggies & kisses as usual.

okie.
i gotta bathe and get ready for work now.
sure kanna BAR again!
haix.
speechless*

woohoo^^

Yes!
tml night can see my dear liao.
YaY..h0oray!

but tonight still working..
walao.
sianz eh.
as usual..
i sure kanna BAR de lor...
confirm plus guarantee plus chop ar.
friday working 6pm-1am.
WAHS!
confirm i do BAR..
if not i chop my head off.
lolx*
sam really like mi sia...
always want me do bar.
sibei sian ar.

ytd went bugis to buy my high heel shoe.
spent $49.90...
the angbao which winnie gave...$60 (50+10)
using the 50 dollar note to pay for shoe.
left 10bucks.
sadden.
den took cab home ..
my 10bucks almost half gone.
arr..
so fast sia.
my angbao spent away just like this.
hmm..
just deposit my cheque.
hopefully tml can get liao.
if not i cant get present for my niece..

1 more night to endure.
den tml off..
going rachel's bdae celeb..
can relax and eat liao.
after that when dear finish 5plus..
see wat time the celebration end..
den decide wat time to meet dear.
argh.
cant wait anymore..
so excited!

ooooh yah.
i have to stop here.
i gotta go bathe le.
later working..
i cant be late to punch in my card.
okie.
sayo............

pls bless me.
don let the rest & bar be crowded with customers.
i don wanna get jammed & be gan chiong spiderr.
peace*

eerie*

i was stationed in BAR again.
walao*
walao*
walao eh*
why like that?
why always me & only me?
why they never train others?
pathetic me.
omg*
i got another cut again!
dono how the hell i got it this time..
just suddenly feel pain..
den realised it.
mon got a cut..
today got another cut..
don tell mi i'm gonna have another cut AGAIN tml?
nono manz~

sian la.
everytime stuck in BAR..
very lonely leh.
i wanna do services with my gals!
i love them.

bin korkor, patrick, KS, ah jui & sam went pub for drinks..
wanted to go..
but don wan la..
waste of money.
argh.
later drunk more worse.
den i took cab home.
me lazy la.
den i buy my fav fried kway teow home.
so shiok.
quite long never eat liao.

now putting on mask.
later dear will tease mi again if i got pimples.
hmm...
its wed liao.
but only 1.20am...
i can see my dear soon..
in about 1day time?..
cant wait liao..
so excited.

hmm.
stopping here le.
gotta watch my channel 55 now.
nite nite.
ciaoz!

stuck in bar again..

walao*
today i was stuck in bar again.
unlucky manz!
cut my thumb while opening the wine btl..
cos i was building castles in the air*
painful lor..
ouch****
instant bleeding..
haix.
poor me.
still gotta continue washing stuffs with soap.
can imagine the feeling?

khai came back to VM just now!
he became fatter ah!
haha.
halfway talking to him & simon..
den i saw 2gals looking at our menu board..
so i went there to service out..
omg..
i was shocked.
i think i saw my ex SC president, melissa!
i wasn't sure whether it was the rite person anot..
so i actually whispered her name.
den she turned ard and say EH!
she was surprised too.
in the end..
she came to the bar for coffee.

today got ANGBAO!
derrick passed to me de..
the angbao from winnie.
thanks my dearest Ms Winnie.
$60 leh!!
its a bonus from her actually.
walao.
finally..
after i finish work and got changed..
simon passed me my cheque!
oh the my god.
i was waiting like hell.
but the pay wasn't high la..
cos i took 1-week break to acc junhao 2weeks ago..
but i guess it will be gone soon.
gotta spend on lotsa stuffs i need.
sadden*
money is never enough for me.
i suddenly wish to be a tai-tai.

oh yah.
now tuesday liao.
2 more days!!!!!!!!!!
just 2 more days then i can see my dear!
cant tahan liao.
i miss him.
i love him.

sian sian sian.
tml working night again.
don plan mi in BAR again okie?!
i will die la.
plus tml is ladies nite..
pls pls pls.
i wanna be on floor doing services..
not BAR again & again.

hmm.
tink i stop here liao.
slping....
eyes threatening to shut down.
nite.

i just wanna be happie.

had a long chat with cihui & candy online ytd.
cihui was so sad..
she was afraid tt her bf will leave her.
lucky some of my pointers did help her..
glad she felt better after talking to me..
YaYz ^-^
i have done a good deed.
cihui..u must jia you wors!
gambatte*

candy was tellin me tt she was with a gal..
actually i knew it long ago.
but nvr tried asking her bout it.
wahs..they both almost 2yrs liao!
fast*
haix..we used to be a pirated "S.H.E" group in ite.
due to some misunderstandings..
its disbanded.
nvm.
its over.

OMG*
dear called mi this morning!
oh manz..
so unexpected..
was awaken by sudden delivery reports.
all those smses i sent to dear since sat was all delievered at once.
then dear called me liao!
i miss his voice.
but he gotta hang up in less than 5mins.
argh*
but better than nth after 2 long days of waiting.
my heart melted when he said..
"u know i love u rite.."
thou i was reluctant to hang up..
and i said yes in a very shag manner.

i am always having low-confidence..
no matter how much i love the person..
no matter how much the person cares for me..
i'm still afraid that its a lie & he wun love me.
this time..
i really trust junhao.
i believe he does love me.
maybe cos he was hurt in the same way as me before?
even if in future,
he doesnt love me anymore..
i will not have any regrets.
i knew i loved him deeply with my whole heart once.

i must have confidence.
not always worrying this and that..
if not..
i will never be happie.
ME AND JUNHAO WILL DEFINITELY WORK OUT WELL!
i know!
i just know it!
nothing bad but GOOD will happen.
God will Bless the people who put in effort.
i know it myself.
i put in effort in this relationship.
so..
GOD will bless me for sure.

i wanna be
HAPPIE FOREVER!

time is torturing me :(

4 more stupid days before i can meet my dear!
i miss him.i miss him.i miss him!
wonder he will miss me anot?

so long lor.
everyday passes so slow.
haix..

mon-wed working night shift.
walao.
shag.
sam lor!
say morning nth much to do..
den kip persuading me to work night.
piangz*
gotta miss lotsa tv shows.
sobsssss d[^__^]b
lucky thurs off!
omg*
thanks god its my niece, rachel's birthday!

i got nth much to write here for now..
will be back again soon.
tomorrow?

slackking

i was stuck in bar making drinks till 11plus.
wait for them to finish work for supper.
den sean asked me to take pic with him.
cos long time nvr take liao.
wahs*
had a great supper with weibin, patrick & sam ytd.
nice stingray, crayfish, & my fav kangkong!
was drinking beer & chatting here & there.
sam kept topping up my beer.
walao*
almost dying liao.
lotsa craps.
was talking bout relationship stuffs.
dino patrick got a thai gf!!
was surprised when he spoke thai language.
haha*
sam's wife was pregnant for 5months!
omg*
congrats him manz.

then they suddenly drift their topic to me.
saying i'm pregnant!
omg* omg* omg*
i am not pregnant lor~
crazy!

after supper..
we walked all the way to Fu Lu Shou area.
cos patrick wanna withdraw money.
weibin was talking bout going to JB ton for a night.
lynette mite be going also!
yeahz^-^ i also want!
this end of month..
the VM nov babies are going out to celeb after work.

i hope dear can acc me on my birthday.
don't know why..
no feelings for any present.
just want him to acc me that day.
2yrs nvr had a enjoyable birthday in my past r/s with ZQ.
i regretted totally.
this yr i must enjoy.

amazing..

met up with ZQ ytd..
returned him his clothes..
thought i still not able to let go.
but surprisingly..
i felt nothing.
i just passed him the bag..
i turned away and left.
really no more feelings for him.
totally gone.
no longer have anything to do with him.
i once said if he still loves me..
i will return to him.
but i'm silly.
i really understood that time changes everything.
time really heals.

maybe i should really thank him.

he left me alone..

and..

God arranged me to know Junhao soon after he left.

i feel so blissful.

Junhao dotes..cares & loves me more than ZQ.

i will never leave him.

i never give anyone so much love.

not even ZQ in my longest relationship.

i realised i have already moved on to my Junhao long ago.

i just wanna give all my love to my dearest Junhao.

i'm absolutely sure that i love Junhao truly after ytd night.

hmm.
just a few more hours...
i can see my dear liao.

i wun be able to see him after friday all the way till next thursday.
argh.
will die manZ.

just received a testi from angel.
finally she nvr bluff me after so long.
suddenly thinking back of those times with her in OSS.
she used to call mi joe joe & saying she loves me!!
omg*
cant stand her last time..
always avoiding her here and there.
got closer after sec3.
our bunch of gals are filled up with crapss & shiit.
so enjoyable.
but all those times are gone.
she's already married.
wishing her all the best.
she promised me that when its her wedding dinner..
she will invite me!

haha*
i die die will also crawl to her wedding dinner.
so amazing..
seems like i just graduated not long ago..
its actually 3yrs ago.
argh.
i miss my gals.
especially angel.
nvr seen her since after N lvls results.
miss her crapss & jokes.
how i wish there's gathering for us.

happie times are always not lasting..

i had my enjoyable 4days spent with dear.
thou we never really go out spending here & there..
but time was spent with him was my happiest moment.
i was mostly at his house this 4days..
but why time still pass so fast?
not fair.

back to work today after a 1-week break.
quite slacking today.
no much customers.
everybody asked how come my hand got such a big bruise!
i said..my BF bited me.
derrick said we are a violent couple.
haha*
dint get much slp today.
cos ytd went to watch movie with dear & his sis, crystal.
went back to his place.
thought of slping right after my shower.

but in the end..
deardear cooked soba noodles & prepare a steamed bun.
watching vcd..
oh man.
in the end..
i slept with quite a bloated stomach.
oww..growing fatter..tummy showing! [^__^]
slept at 3am+++
woke up at 5am+ and rushed to the train stat cos dear's running late for work.
reach home at 7am.
but only managed to fall aslp at 8am!
wtf?! my body is playing a fool with me?
was like a live zombie at work.
was so reluctant to work!
lucky got weibin & derrick to crap ard with me.
if not i might really fall aslp even when i'm standing.

i'm broke like shiit.
i'm so desperate for my pay!
but i know it will be much lesser cos i took a 1-week break.
but nvm.
its worth it.
wateva time spent with my jon was all worth it :)
i miss him.
thou its jus merely less than 24hrs i last seen him..
my heart was flying away from me to him..
omg*