i am so afraid now..

will i be able to make use of the chance?
i am really afraid.
i don't want dear to leave me.

junjie kor told me lotsa things.
everyone wanted me to give up & leave..
but only junjie knows what i want.
he's the only one who never ask me to give up..

KOR..
thanks.
you are right.
i am not going to give up unless i don't love him.
he still love me..but not much.
but he's too tired..
tired of having quarrels.
okie.
so i will try to prevent us from quarrelling.
i so wanna make him happy again..
he don't seem to be interested to talk to me on the phone..
furthermore..
he's in camp.
i cant see him.
i don't know what else i can do.
all i know is that i cant lose him.

all these years i have knew u..
seeing u & sher happily together..
i am really happy.
i am so proud of myself that i am able to see you both getting married..
sending u both to airport..
seeing u both leave SG to Aussie.
thou i miss u all..
i still cared for both of u.
so worried whenever u and her quarrelled.
but end up with an ease of mind when u told me u both are okie.
i never wanted or expect anything from u..
i know u both love each other.
since there's still love..
there will be still a ray of hope.
i'm glad i've done that for u.
______________________________________

i know i cant repeat another mistake again.
i cant.
i shall not disturb him now.
so he will not be angry and leave me.
i will wait patiently.
KOR..
pls pray for me.
pray that i can do it.
pray that he will love me more.
pray that i will have a happy ending like u.
my palms are sweaty..
i'm really afraid..
i'm alone in my room..
not wanting to go out..
i'm terribly afraid to see his sms telling me that he wanna leave me again.

DEAR!
no matter how hard it is...
i will never give up on u & this relationship!