i'm rather afraid.

tml have to wake up early.
cos i need to go for a checkup.
made an appointment last min with my doc.

haix.
negative feelings again.
somehow,
i am really afraid.
i had frequent pains these few weeks.
never seem to feel better or so.

kenji will be accompanying me.
cos i don wanna go alone.
thanks bro~
i so appreciate for his efforts to come down all the way to bring me there.

i couldnt sleep.
insomia.
i mean very serious..
i am absolutely tired & yet i am still awake.

just now while watching tv..
the pain came back.
this time,
i know its aint a good sign.
is that a relapse?
oh god..
pls tell me its just a negative thinking in my lost mind.

wanted to tell baby that i'm going for checkup tml morn..
but he didnt reply me the whole night.
don't know he's sleeping or wateva?
hmm..
do i feel sad that he doesnt really seem to care?
nope.
this time..
i don think i am sad.

反正伤心也没用，
看来我开始懂得该怎么应付乐。。
这次，我也不是很伤心。
反而觉得有点无所谓的心情。
到底是好事还是不祥之兆呢？