announcement of my new name

just had supper w baby & simon at chinatown..
wow.
i cant believe i can finish it all.
i ate kway chap with those ingredients which i am unable to name them..
sth like pig intestines..?
PLUS a bowl of laksa of extra HUM!
lolx*

i decided not to stay at the weight of 45kg.
cos it means i'm unhealthy cos of underweight-ing.
i need to reach the range of 50kg.
but i don wish to touch the "5" range.
i want it to maintain at 46kg-48kg!
i guess i control it the wrong way!
overeating?
damn.
but its simply too delicious!

baby is going to accompany me for the night tml on new yr eve..
actually consider tonight la..!
but i always find it uncomfortable..
cos i have not wake up & see the sun yet..
so i always hack about the date moving on after 12am.
ok.
i know its lame.

i may not have the time to blog tml.
but i am sure i will upload all the pics i took with many people on either sat or sun.
probably on sun..
cos i have to attend my cousin's wedding on this coming sat.

sorry..
i am still lazy to upload pics..
pics from xmas gathering..
jumbo seafood pics..

times really flies..
its the last day of 2008 already..
a blink of an eye..
my 6mths in VL passed thru like this..
i love all my colleagues..

rose & me are more closer than colleagues now..

i am signing up for advanced japanese next yr..
studying again..
exams again..
yet i am excited..
cos my japanese is still weak..
only simple conversations with japanese guests.

i am willing to work harder & save for my jap course.
yes!
once i have said it,
i will do it!
I NEVER FAIL TO DO SO!

now i am annoucning..
from effect after February 2009..
my new name will be Nakamura Koyuki @ Ho Jing Yee Yvonne.

will be signing the oath papers after chinese new year..
by then..
my 2nd niece will be 1 mth plus le..
in less than 2 wks time..
i will be an auntie of 2 nieces..

my rachel is really playful..
yet adorable!
damn adorable..
she's smart manx!

her milk powder is damn power!~
at her age of 3yrs old..
she knows how to ans me back!!!!
omgness*
cant imagine..

waiting for baby to reach home then slp.
tml working 3-11..
maybe meeting ah pat korkor on fri evening.
hopefully ah bin korkor can make it too..
that ah pat better not drop another BOMB again..
if not..
he will..
*&^%$#@!

browsing for another new blogskin..
starting to get bored seeing it..

ok.
stopping here now.
nitex.

HAPPIE NEW YEAR 2009 to everyone who reads my blog often..
u know who u are..
esp those who often read & know how i am getting on..
ppl like kenji, nic, wm, by, mich.

kenji - thanks. u are always with me. u know me the best than anyone else. only u can communicate with me in japanese. u never fails to make me smile.

nic - u ah! always take my hoonkee! but we are always so chattable..we have known each other for almost 9yrs..squabbles are most than everything. nevertheless, its nth serious. no big deal ok. we quarrel for nth. for fun only.

wm - i only knew u for about almost 5 yrs..thou my words to you isnt much..but u are someone i can confide in always..

by - u are one of my vball juniors..yet i nvr treat u like one before. cos i nvr feel so. u are always someone i can talk to..play with..crapping tgt with mich..scolding coach..getting punished tgt..cleaning up the whole hall.

mich - anytime, any moment can talk craps..tgt with by, even getting punished tgt makes us laugh even more..detention in school..

not forgetting my RACH darling..
gossiping..talking shit during work which makes us kill time during work..more energetic & less boring with each other accompanies..my closest colleague in wellborn..opps..i nvr treat her as a colleague i should say..she's my bestest friend from 2007 till now since she came from vme to vm & then to vm. visits my blog at times & sweet enuff by dropping me taggies.

lastly..
i will nvr forget my baby of cos.
if not he might shoot me..
we are tgt for 1 yr 11 mths..
going to be 2 yrs soon..
i hope we will be like this till the end of life.
i noe its kinda mushy..
thats my wish for the whole of my life.
we have been accomodating each other all these while..
despite all e quarrels we had..
we forgave each other because of LOVE.

宝贝，
谢谢你一直包容我的任性！
我们在一起都快要两年了。。
希望我们会永远都会保持这种感觉到生命的最后一天一秒！
我知道这样是有点肉麻。。
但这是我这一生中唯一最想拥有的愿望。
虽然每次都吵架。。
很多次都差点闹到到分手。。
但是我们每次都能很快就世界和平了！
我一直相信。。
我们每次能成功过的每一关都是因为我们彼此都还在相爱着对方！
总结来说。。
全都是因为爱！

this is my longest post of the month.
i am putting a fullstop of happiness & unhappiness in 2008.

i hope by changing my name can refresh a new me..

cravings satisfied

ok.
my cravings are gone.
i had my orh lua just a moment ago at my hse downstairs.

baby just went home.
i'm so slpy..
should be slping in awhile..

i was so deep asleep ytd night.
was so afraid that i cant get to slp as i am working morning shift the next day..
so i took 2 slping pills..
was thinking normally it will take about 30mins..
but i forgot i took 2 pills.
damn.
i didnt even know baby called me..
was supposed to chat with him awhile de..
ended up i flew to another world.
so he left a sms in e end.

baby's off tml.
i am on afternoon shift.
yucks*
damn.
lucky boy..
how i wish i am off tml..
but i noe i cant.

i am listening to my fav songs now..
damn song lor!

till now i cant find any links for me to download.

Roger Kwok & Charmaine Sheh - 东方之珠 subtheme
Han Ul - Sarang Ee Dduh Nan Da
Kim Ji Hoon - I Love U

i am so eager to download these tracks.
cos imeem cant do so.
baidu is out too.

shit*

eeeekkkkkkkkkkkkk~

wanted so much to get my black shoe today..
but was help up at work to complete some stuffs..
ended up i am still in the restaurant now..
thou i have finished work.
but i still have some paperwork to complete as i am on afternoon shift.

i am so so so hungry!
damn*
my shoe is gonna leave me soon.
there's a big hole now.
wonder when it will officially retire..
hopefully not when i am at my busiest times.
god bless me...

hopefully next week during my off days in sat & sun..
i can clear up another half of my room..
then also hunt for my black working shoe.

shit*
i am hungry till angry.
i'm craving for orh lua!
1 more hr before baby finishes work.

忍！忍！忍！
counting down...

moody

i'm so so so sianx.
i so wanna go home..
but i cant..

i feel so moody now..
dono wat exactly happen also.

i hate this.
the feeling i'm having now sucks to the core.
damn damn damn.

i'm losing faith in this relationship.
its not cos i don love him.
but it seems like i'm always in wrong even if i insist that i'm right.
there's always tons of reason to prove that i'm wrong.

i tot there's no right or wrong in relationships?
i might be immature at times.
but i have to say my thinking is not always wrong all the time right?
sometimes i really insist that i'm right..
but ended up to be said that i'm stubborn.
wtf?

or should i wait till both of our moods are good then everything will be fine?

hopefully i can wait..
i'm barely surviving..

sadness is killing me.

i am lonely.
i am seriously lonely.

P.S:
I knew you are always browsing my blog. I consider your feelings thats why i didn't wanna tell you straight.
Sorry to "U"...even if i knew u earlier, i am sure i will never start a r/s wth you. Even if i am single, the main reason is the feeling & chemistry isnt there. Its not the time. But there's simply no fate. I truly believe in fate. I always wanted us to be friends. Just pure friends. I am attached. I don't wanna change anything. I don't want anything or anyone else to affect my r/s with my baby. Thou at certain moments, my r/s is kinda rocky..but i still wanna remain in this way. Nth else. Don't put your hopes on me anymore. You have to move on & find a better one. I hope you will find your happiness soon. All the best.

wallet wallet wallet!!!

argh!
i need a wallet soon soon soon~!

its barely surviving now.

oh gosh!

now my next target is WALLET!

any sponsers?

merry xmas!

merry merry xmas~

sweeped & mopped my house..
so shag.
then rushed to tiong to collect my new specs..
bought so much groceries..
lucky i have kenji to help me with those heavy bags..
then go back home slack..
waited for baby to finish work..
waited waited waited..
then baby finally reach my house..
he had a quick shower..
then we walked to tiong & collect our movie tix.

finally watched Twilight!
yes!
the ending was kinda weird for baby & me.

after that went to find xiaohua..
my cat near the void deck.

went home..
had a sudden urge to have a quick wash of our hair..
lolx*

then slp.
yesterday night wasn't bad..
i had an enjoyable night with baby.

woke up reluctantly..
slept bout 4am..

now at least not so steam-ed liao..

tonight should be busy ba..
hopefully not busy & hopefully not not busy too~!
heehee*

i am changing my name..
found the lawyer firm..
this time is confirmed.
definitely going soon.
100% guaranteed.

as for the new name..
i'm not gonna disclose it yet.
wait till all the procedures is done then i will announce.

some asked me why i need to change name..
well..
its my personal reasons.
i'm afraid whether ppl will like it or not..
afterall..
its my name..
who cares..
right?

pics uploaded.

this is how my mickey mouse lillipop goes..


________________________

in less than 3 mins..


________________________

in another 3 mins later..


________________________

my mickey head is vanishing..
looks like an alien..


________________________

gosh*
mickey ears is breaking..



the reason why i took all these pics..
cos i tot of saving some for baby..
but ended up i was too tempted with the cola favour..
i finished it.
________________________






the yummy food we had..
________________________

anna & me.

met up on last sunday..

we have a great time crapping around..

shopping for our beloved..

chatting..

long long time since we met up.

she's my bestest buddie in sec sch..

till now..

i believe friendship is forever.

cos its FATE that bought us together :)

________________________

well..i forced my baby to pose like this.

he looks damn poor thingy..

but i like it.

he dint say he doesnt like it too..

lolx*
________________________________

i know this is real late.
i was just simply lazy to upload..
secondly..
i have no time.
this was taken on 10 Nov on my bdae..
my baby specially bought this choco cake.
cos i'm a chocolate-craz gal.

________________________________

the love-shaped cake was bought by me on baby's bdae..

but i have lost the pic that we took tgt with the cake.

blame it on my fast itchy thumb.

damn*

________________________________

谁要陪我看twilight电影？

我在等下去就没得看了！

每一次说我说的下一次。。

永远都没有下一次！

总是失望一场！

看来我拭目以待要看的戏泡汤了！

我现在的心是冷冷的。。
我是有感觉的。。
不要每次都留下你要睡觉的时间给我而把你有精力的时间都留给别人！

我每次努力把精力留给了你，

你都不曾发觉到我的用心和努力！

因为你没有体验过这种感觉。。

所以你每次都觉得我蛮不讲理！

算了。。

反正你也不怎么去管我。。

每次都是几天的热度。。

然后就没有了！

我这几天的开心。。

全都没有了！

讨厌的眼泪又留下来了。。

心里很难过。。

sandwich-ed

i'm so afraid of the feeling of being sandwiched..
this feeling is definitely not nice at all.
my fault again..
to listen or not to listen?

i'm getting so tired.
really..
i broke down & cried for countless of times just because of the company.

i love wellborn..
cos that was my longest stay in part time job..
eventually my 1st full time job as well.

just cos of me..
just by listening to instructions..
many things cropped out late night.

i damn hate this.
but i don hate anyone.
everyone is bound to have diff thinkings..

well..
i have finished my rantings..

stopping here now.
shall have my slp..

nitex everybody..

没安全感了。。

我很辛苦。。
做工也没心情！

为什么每次都好像是我在主动的。。
你每次休息就赶着回家。。
从来都没陪过我。

我好想好想像其他人一样。。
可以和心爱的人出出门逛逛街。。
可是我在这接近两年都没有这一天。
每次休息都不曾在这里逛街过。。
你是否有问过我到底会不会介意。。
我真的很辛苦。
你好像都不管我心里的感受。
我很怕。。
我不知道你几时会发脾气就说不要我。。
我什么安全感都没有了。

爱一个人不是应该知道对方的感受吗？

从拜四晚上。。
我一直都没开心过。。
你还怪我为什么不开心。。
你知道我的心真的很痛吗？

我觉得自己很失败。。
你不开心。。
我想哄哄你。。
但没有用。。
你都不需要我的存在。。
会让你开心的人不是我。
而是其它人。
我很介意这一切！
难道我是真的那么没用吗？

我真的好想和你永远开开心心在一起。。
我不想和你吵架。。
但我们却每次都吵架！

我太难受了！
我刚刚在外面一个人抽烟。。
一半抽烟。。一半在哭

我很希望你会抽些时间来陪陪我。。
陪我逛街买我一直想要的东西，偶尔看看电影。。

我还会等到那一天吗？

:'(

:)

as of now..
i might not be updating as often as it was used to be.
but i promise myself to update at least once a week.

i am too busy for such things now..

busy meeting clients..
handling VL's enquiries..
as well as restaurant operations.

but still..
blogger is my 2nd place for me to place my happy & sad feelings.
cos the 1st place is my baby's heart.
he knows me the best.

i should be slping now..
yet i'm not.

tml working morn..
shall try to leave right away after briefing.
then rush home & wait for baby to come fetch me to JB.
he's getting his car tml..
i'll be the 1st person (excluding him of cos..) to be sitting in it.
wee*

his sis will be goin back as well too.

my baby is a 大石头！
so his sis's existence is somehow a good thing.
lolx*

ok.
shall end here for now.
i will be back soon.

悲伤。。

吵架了。。
心情非常不好。
宝贝也对我冷冰冰的。。
难受死了！

我在等待彩虹的一天。。
我们几时又会好起来呢？
连做工都没心情。
昨晚都把眼睛哭肿了！

今天还是无动于衷。。
没什么话说。。

刚才和宝贝吃夜宵时。。
我开汽水时又不小信割伤自己。
流血了。
其实很痛的。。
但心里更痛。

明天是否还是这样吗？
我真的不希望。。
唉。。

我想上天祷告。。
明天能让我的心情开朗点。。
希望宝贝看到我会更开心。。。
也希望就算偶尔吵架。。
感情还是会保持稳定状态。

明天又要做早。。
不知道为什么。。
现在又突然不舒服。
有点辛苦。。
胸口觉得紧紧的。。

不说了。。
我想一个人静一静。

words in my heart

Dear Friend,
As you go up this morning,
I watched you.
i hoped you would talk to me even if it was just a few words, asking my opinion or thanking me for something good that happened in your life yesterday, but I noticed you were too busy trying to find the right outfit to put on and wear to work.
I waited again…
When you ran around the house getting ready I knew there would be a few minutes for you to stop and say hello,
but you were too busy.
At one point you had to wait fifteen with nothing to do except sit in a chair.
Then I saw you spring to your feet.
I thought you wanted to talk to me but you ran to the phone and called a friend to get the latest gossip.
I watched you as you went to work and I waited patiently all day long.
With all your activities I guess you were too busy to say anything to me.
I noticed that before lunch you look around, maybe you felt embarrassed to talk to me, that is why you didn’t bow your head.
You glanced three of four tables over and you noticed some of your friends talking to me briefly before they ate, but you didn’t.
That’s okay!
There is still more time left, and I have hope that you will talk to me even yet.
You went home and it seems as if you had lots of things to do… After a few of them were done you turned on the TV.
I don’t know if I like TV or not, just about anything goes there and you spend a lot of time each day in front of it, not thinking about anything just enjoying the show.
I waited patiently again as you watched TV and ate your meal but again you didn’t talk to me. As you did you paperwork I waited again,
you did what you had to do.
At bedtime I guess you felt too tired.
After you said goodnight to your family, you plopped into bed and fell asleep in no time.
That’s okay, because you may not realize that I am always there for you.
I’ve got patience more than you will ever know.
I even want to teach you how to be patient with others as well, because I love you so much, a long time ago I left a wonderful place called heaven and came to earth.
I gave it up so that I could be ridiculed and made fun of, and I even died so you wouldn’t have to take my place.
I love you so much that I wait everyday for a nod, prayers or thought or a thankful part of you heart.
It is hard to have a one-sided conversation.
Well you are getting up again, and once again I will wait with nothing but love for you, hoping that today you will give me some time.
Have a nice day!