idiotic xiao qiang aka cockroach

walao.
i damn sianx.
got a flying cockroach in my room..
i dare not go to my bed.
omgness*
keep flying ard my ceiling lights.
nb la.
tml i work 12.5 hrs sia..
its a big deal to me.
how am i gonna have enuff energy to wake up tml?

i'm gonna be so dead.
oh god..
help me pls..
the idiotic cockroach still lying on my floor after my baygon attack.
sian la.

tiredness,scars,mood swings

went to tiong alone to place order for the cake.
was walking & walking..
saw someone familiar..
its JEREMY JIANG!
omgness.
his hair is becoming more & more like a golden monkey.
lolx*
jking.

met up with shihua to have dinner at mac.
shihui came down also.
hehe*

they going to pasar malam.
so..
i went home.
my body is aching so much that i don feel like walking.
tml gonna work 12.5hrs.
walao.
i'm sure i will be damn steamed.
10.30am-11pm.
liew..
i'm so sianx.
so afraid that i cant hang on anymore.

my mood isnt very good these past few wks.
the "LL" is jus too much.
i'm going crazy cos of her.
worse still..
i see her almost everyday.
terrible la.

hands kanna scars.
legs kanna scars & bruises.
now..
face also have scars.
omg.
worse than ugly sia..

aiya.
mood swing.
i have depression.

no one is there for me anymore.
nvm.
i shall be alone.

no longer angry..

today's function still ok..
managed to go on smoothly..
rach darling helped out as well..

was so angry at Miss PH..
but thinking of it..
angry also no point le.
right?
nvr help means nvr help..
angry also doesnt make any difference.

as for now..
i need to think of many things.
i need u.
but u are not there for me.
i wanna talk to u..
but u doesnt seem interested.
oh well..
its my own wishful thinking perhaps..

will be writing a letter to megumi later..
haix.
no more mailing stamps for japan postage.
oh manx.
nvm.
shall ask my daddy to get tons of it.
hehe*

my dress should be arriving in 1 week's time ba..
oh yes~
i love it.
hopefully it turn out to my expectation.
god bless.

today no time to entertain the "LL"..
really no time.
busy with function the whole afternoon..
only managed to have my late lunch at 7pm.
ok.
i know its supposed to be dinner.
i'm lazy to wake up early to have my lunch before i come for work.
okokok.
serves me right la.

i'm so gonna be broke soon.
omgness.
paid for so many stuffs.
spent a bomb on my braces fees.
2 more days before my braces will be on.
hopefully it wont spoil my appetite.
oh well..
if it does..
better still!
i can slim down.

ok.
i know "someone" will scold me soon.
cos i am underweight!
but i don get it..
since i'm underweight..
why is my tummy fats still so stubborn clinging on to me?
why why why?
omg*
i cant stand my tummy fats.
so ugly.
i'm already ugly enuff.
now my fatty meats caused me to look even uglier..
sooner or later..
no one will want me liao.
haha*

NOTE:
To the someone named "L"...
don cling on to someone who's not worth it.
we are friends.
forever will be friends.
5yrs ago,
i rejected u.
5yrs later..
my ans is still the same.
ok!?
don waste ur precious time on me anymore.
i still wanna be friends with u.
not avoiding u or wateva..
but i think this is not the suitable time for us to kip in contact.
i seek for ur understanding.
gimme more time.
i can do it.
i don wanna talk about this topic anymore.
i have more things to worry about..
eg. my work stuffs, my friendship & my relationship.

NOTE:
To my friend named "SY"..
why are u always so sensitive?
no one is snatching ur belongings.
i am tired.
not totally because of u.
i nvr wanna hate u.
but u kept forcing me to a dead end.
scolding & scoldings are all u have given me.
i avoid u.
yes.
i admited it.
cos i wanna avoid unnecessary misunderstandings.
something which i have said to u in a very serious tone.
nvr hurt my friends.
NVR!
i mean it.
i cant imagine wat i can do if u continue this.
aint u tired of all this?
are u really SY?
pls..
now i beg u.
stop wateva u are doing.
its useless.
i have given u everything u want.
enuff is enuff.
i have enuff things to handle besides u.
thanks.

friends..

uploaded pics.
had a short chat with misae..
she changed so much.
became more mature & beautiful.
even more lady-like already!
still remembered those days when we exchanged letters.
those moments was really unforgettable.
remembering those days when i was still studying in sec sch..
and she was still in uni.
now..
we are both working for the society.
both are busy with our own life.
i miss her.
we used to exchange presents also!
she was always there for me when i wrote to her regarding my own problems.
now..
we nvr write to each other.
but..
we still emailed & chat in msn.
i am so looking forward to webcamming with her online.
still waiting for her to buy a new webcam!
thanks misae..
thanks for all these years for being my friend.
i nvr believe in penpals when i was younger..
until i met u.

misae & friend


she is misae namba. my one & only bestest japanese penpal for 5yrs!


yummy-licious food.


photo taken by ah hoa


supervisors' shots

wishful thinking

i have done everything i could.
but how come there isnt any reaction from u?
sadden.

i tried my best to hint to u..
but u thought its a joke.
u noe how hurt i am?
wat am i to u?
tell me..

u have lesser time for me now.
i nvr said anything.
i am definitely disappointed thou i am not angry.
u made me smile once..
now..
u ignored me.

watelse more u want me to say?
do i have to make it so clear out to u?

maybe i'm wrong.
its my wishful thinking.

6 lil rubber bands

today was real suay.
omgness*
i cant believe it happened on me.
how can they neglect this point..
haix.

today went for my dental appointment.
got 6 lil blue rubber bands attached to my tooth.
i cant even enjoy my fried chicken properly.
sian la.
i really dono how i can talk to my guests after the braces is on.
i am really afraid.
but i knew i had to fix my jaw bone.
so..
i simply got no other choice.

tml split end!
sianx.
sunday function is coming.
omgness.
i am so lazy now.

The 10 Promises To My Dog!

私と気长につきあってください。 　　
请给我时间了解你对我的要求是什麼

私を信じてください。それだけで私は幸せです。
请你相信我, 只有那样我才能幸福

私にも心があることを忘れないでください。
请了解无论你怎麼对待我, 我将永远不会忘记

言うことをきかないときは理由があります。
当你责骂我之前, 请先想想是不是有什麼理由困扰著我

私にたくさん话しかけてください。人のことばは话せないけど、わかっています。
请多对我说话, 虽然我不会说人话, 可是我听的懂你的声音

私をたたかないで。本気になったら私のほうが强いことを忘れないで。
在打我前请先想想, 我其实是有牙齿可以伤害你的只是我选择不去咬

私が年を取っても、仲良くしてください。
当我年纪大的时后, 请好好照顾我

私は十年くらいしか生きられません。だからできるだけ私と一绪にいてください。
我的寿命只有10年左右, 所以请尽可能跟我在一起

あなたには学校もあるし友だちもいます。でも私にはあなたしかいません。
你有工作有朋友, 可是我只有你

私が死ぬとき、お愿いです、そばにいてください。どうか覚えていてください、私がずっとあなたを爱していたことを。
当我要离开世间的时后, 求求你待在我的身边, 只要有你跟我在一起, 所有的事都将变得容易接受, 请你永远不要忘记, 我爱你

the above are the 10 promises to my dog..
very meaningful to those who once had lived a happy life with your beloved doggie.

thanks baby!

today finished late..
last min got guest..
waliew.
already closed the rest..
but nvm la..
at least i got more sales.

so tired today.
went for my x-ray.
so cool.
lolx.
cos i nvr went for a dental x-ray before.
nxt thurs will be another appointment.

tml mornin shift again.
yes*
i will be seeing juan tml le..
wee*

yesyesyes!
i have got the BOA - Be With You.mp3 liao...
omg*
i so love it.
i repeated the song numerous times.
thanks baby!

i so wanna go shopping but my money is so limited.
how i wish CPF don cut so much of my pay..
fat hope!

就这样离开了。。

my secret is no longer a secret already.
my little von left me today.
i finally have the courage to go for it.
i am really down today.

so afraid today.
palms sweating.
face turned pale.
i wished i can see u before u leave.
but this is impossible.
even if i could..
i will have second thoughts after seeing u.
i cried.
i have nth for u except tears & sadness.
i feel sorry for everything i had done to u.
i know u must have felt it.
cos u have given me pains when i'm on the way there.
i know.
i can feel it.
i insisted to send u away.
i believe its for ur benefits too.

my message to u:
my dearest lil von..
take it that i am very selfish.
i am very sorry this time.
i shouldnt have repeated this mistake again & again.
i thought about it numerous times & several nights.
always worried when i'm doing something.
now that u have left..
i will not miss u anymore.
but i will always remember u, your existence once in my life.
u are always special.
cos u stayed with me the longest period of time.

this time i prayed really hard.
really really hard.
prayed that u will not hate me..
hoping that u can find someone who loves u as much as i do.

i am so lonely.
i needed someone.
i needed u to be with me.
but..
u failed.
tons of excuses again.
i feel so weak.
i always thought u will be happy after all this.
i thought u will be with me happily after i settle all this.
i am so wrong.
everything is still the same.
why?

tears flowed like nobody's business.
today is the worst day i had in 2008!

alone..

i am so alone now.
work.
work.
work.
only work.
no life liao.
i hate it.

now my life only has..
-morning wake up.
-prepare for work.
-work.work.work.
-eat.
-or rest during split break.
-cry.cry.cry.
-finish work.
-go home.
-slp.

this has been repeating for these 6mths.
i am really tired.
workload is getting heavier.
teppy & me even hurt our hands & fingers.
feel like crying.
but i endured.
i carried on with a wide smile.
laughing with great pain.
skins ard my finger nails tore.
bleeding fingers.
yet i kept quiet.
i'm sure teppy can feel it.

no one can ever lend me a crying shoulder..
forever alone.

wateva..

i was so steam-ed in the afternoon.
hmm.
juan was angry like fcuk.
e moment i step into VL..
she said she wanna tell me something.
i was like ok...
haha.

woahs..
after that i was very angry also.
everything was not done.
only teppy had e initiative to stay back & help..
thanks to her.

tml work 12 till closing..
haix..
sian lor..
she tried to change my schedule.
fuck.
then for wat ask me to do when she tried to change things.
nb.
bitch.

so wanna go ktv just now..
but thinking that i need to work split..
rather not ba.
if not my day will be another steam-ed session..
lolx*

guess baby is outside or wateva..
nvr pickup my call..
nvr sms me..
well..
wateva la..
doesnt really matter liao.

i am so disturbed by the "LALA"..
so ridiculous..
made me think that she's so perverted.
oh.
wtf.
so sucks.
now she said i'm stealing her friend.
i am so speechless.
walao.
like that i am like her jailed bird.
omg.
my hair is standing.
goosebumps!

my tummy is grumbling..
so hungry!

never will i believe..

we met just now.
i cant believe what i saw.
she isnt the one i knew last time.
something bad happened.

i let her did something to me.
i nvr believe i allowed her to go ahead with it.
but if it could let her hatred go away..
i guess i did the correct thing.

i didnt shed a single drop of tears until i left.
after i left..
tears fell uncontrollably.
swollen eyes.

forget it.

得不到任何人的谅解。。

心碎了。。

这几天的心情都很不好。。
每件事都很不顺利!
为什么会搞成这样？

还好今天有件值得让我笑起来的事。。
我和娟在网上被提名了！
太意外了！
哈哈！

全世界只有娟在一直在我背后支持着我。。
谢谢你，娟！
我好像没什么朋友了。。
我只剩下你一个。。
请你别离开我。。
也只有你相信我。。
也只有你能够体会我现在的感受。。

我在别人的眼中是一个坏女人。
只有你一个坚持相信我还是一个好人。。
我真的很感激你！

眼泪一直流。。
有谁能借我一个能靠得住的肩膀哭？
我太想要哭了。。
每天都在勉强自己强忍着泪水！
我很辛苦。

我又被那个人害惨了！
不过也没关系。。
反正我早已经习惯了。

心痛到已经感觉不到痛了。。

刚才你为什么要这么大声骂我？。。
你知道我是多么的难过吗？

confused..

平原綾香 - 今、風の中で



i'm tired of all this shits.
scoldings & scoldings are all i have got these past 3days.
eyes swollen.
so sick.

coughing these few days.
sianx.
cough till my tummy also aching.
wed also dono whether can go anot..
hopefully ba..

i just hope to be happy..
is that so hard?

should i end all this?
can someone tell me?

Be With You..

the theme song sang by BOA in the movie..
so nice!
"10 Promises To My Dog"
i cried when i heard the song while i was watching the movie.

nice nice nice!

PINK PSP!

watch the "10 promises"..
oh..
so nice*
really must watch!
tears will really flow.
even baby's tears flowed.
lolx.
but it was really touching.
if u feel nth..
u seriously don have a heart.

i got a PSP liao..
its my favourite PINK.
wee*
baby got blue.

so fast.
my off day is gone just like that.
tml work split shift again.
furthermore..
"she" will be here.
sianx.

i wanna take PH soon..
i wanna rest.
i wanan slack.
i long to be a couch potato at home.
i hope month of August will arrive real soon :)

farewell party!

went to ah pat korkor BBQ..
was fun.
she was there too.
i hate it.
but its not up to me.
everything was just so fake.
i dono why she hates me so much.
until now i still dono the ans.
i seriously dono.
so childish i think.

met tessa today..oh..so fun..
she was so much prettier now..






today's kent last day at Viet Lang.
haix.
was happy for him.
but i am sad for myself.
oh no.
gotta handle so much things.
i cried.
i couldnt handle.
i wasnt capable at all.
dinner got no table at all -.-"
farewell steamboat start earlier than i expected.
but ended later than i expected too :p
had a walk wif juan..
i realised i can confide with her..
cheers*