累。。

这次可真的是惨了！
田野和宝贝竟然在简讯上联络！
讨厌！
完了完了!

他们肯定在说我的坏事！
又说我不听话！
如果末年末日让他们见面。。
我性命就难保咯！

下个星期又是我最难熬的星期。。
好多宴会要办啊！。。
忙死我了啦！

时间表全都是排到满满！
唉。。
真是悲哀噢！

骨头都快要散了！

何靓怡，加油啊！

宝贝就快要到新分行了。。
我们快要分开了。。
见面的机会就会变得更少！
我肯定会很想念他的。。

充满恐惧。。

刚才在网上看到了田野的网上日记。。
我很不开心。
非常伤心。。

原来是因为我，
他太担心我了。
结果被教练骂了。。
原因是没有专心加紧操练。。
我害得田野被罚。。
如果没问nic的话，
我根本都不知道这回事！

看到田野这样。。
我开始害怕了。
他到底是不是有事隐瞒着我呢？
从小到大，
只要是会让我不开心的事或是会让我伤心流泪。。
就算是会让我心烦意乱的任何小事。。
田野都会想尽各种方法不让我知道！
可是他每次都不晓得我太了解他了。
他的一举一动都逃不过我。。
我知道他很关心我。。
我们就像彼此按爱着对方。。
但其实我们只是非常非常好的朋友。。
比朋友还要好的朋友！

但是这次我真的猜不透他到底隐瞒我些什么。。
就是因为这样，
我更担心！
我自己也觉得很不对劲。
难道又出现问题了吗？

我很担心田野！
比赛要到了！
可是他一点心情都没有。。
今天他来接我下班时。。
他一点小容都没有。
好像有很多事埋藏在心里。
我也没问他是什么事。。
因为我知道他是不会告诉我的！

只要是他不会告诉我的事。。
就肯定有事。。
更肯定是关于我!
因为我们从小到大都是有所不谈的！
大大小小都会和对方说。。

但最近。。
他好想什么也不告诉我！
我到底是不是出现问题？
我真的很想知道到底是什么回事！

我很害怕。。
我没晚都在哭。
也不知道到底在哭些什么！
我就是知道很不对劲！
我只知道其中的原因。。
但更深入的事。。
我一点都不知情！

天天都不舒服。。
很辛苦。。
但是我还是拼了老命强忍着！
我真的很怕我快要撑不下去了！

我很难受。。 :'(
但又有谁能和我分担我现在承受的痛苦？

the 2 days spent..

sunday was quite a tired day for me..
ever since from sat..
went to JB after packing from home..

went for a quick shower..
but slipped & injured my righty hand..
got a big bruise..
clumsy von!

had a very peaceful night @ baby's hse.
its always so quiet & peaceful during the night.
except for some cars passing by.

but i was too deep in my sleep..
all e way till afternoon.
baby's mum cooked fried pork meat.
shiok!
i long time nvr eat le!
dipping into chilli is just simply heaven-licious!
then went out to settle his mum & sis's stuffs.

the whole afternoon was spent like that.
went back JB..
watched TVB drama till midnight..
then sleep again.
woke up @ 1pm plus..

then watched TVB drama again.
baby & me was totally obsessed into it..
spent the whole afternoon again stoning infront of the tv.
finally..
both had our shower..
after that..
baby drove to pelangi..
went out for late lunch + dinner @ about 7pm..

see how powerful we are?
lolx.

bought macdonalds..
only had a few strands of fries & we decided to tabao back to his house to eat.
cos he promised to bring me to the pasar malam.
somemore he promised me very very very long time ago..
imagine its gonna be 1 year ago?!
finally have the chance..

had 臭豆腐。。
i bought many many stuffs..
3 mickey mouse pyjamas..
1 set of mickey mouse blanket.
1 set of mickey mouse bedsheet.
all those mickey stuffs in pasar malam.

bought 3 pairs of earrings.
a black string for my ring pendant. (cos i woke up & found out its broken long ago..& the pendant is a gift from baby!)
transparent pink nail polish.
titbits.
cuttlefish.

spent more than 100++ ringgit..
its not a big deal to many people..
but its a real big hole for me esp. when i'm gonna be broke any minute.
but baby says i only need to pay him back $50..
the rest just take it that he treated me.
lolx.

then went back his house.
enjoyed our mac meals..
smelly toufu..
snacks..
chocolates.

planning to leave his house @ 10pm.
but once again..
i'm obsessed in the TVB drama again.
i went for my last shower for the day only @ 10pm!
baby says i no need to go back SG liao.
lolx.
somemore both of us are working morning tml.

after my shower..
its his turn.
so i didnt even waste any minute in catching the rest of the TVB drama.
ended up..
we left @ 11.30plus..
fortunately..
no jam @ custom.

so we reach home @ about 12am++..
called baby..
chatted for less than 5mins..
then sleep.

today's work was abit tiring cos of all the following-up & all.

might be catching a movie tml after work.
hopefully i can leave right after 6pm.

alright.
nth much to update now.

shall be back soon.

wee :)

i am totally drained out.

reach vl @ 8.30am.
chiong a wedding function till 12pm plus..
after that..
chiong out my schedule..
punched out after i got back to vl.
chat with simon, raju & joshi..
raju left after a short while..
continued crapping with simon & joshi..
while waiting for baby also..
when baby finished work..
he joined us..
left vl @ 11.30plus..

baby sent me to my doorstep..
then left.

i'm once again short of staffs.
cos vm ppl are leaving for their new outlet.

after that..
went outside catering with raju..
heavy rain lor!
nabei*

margaret is a very nice lady..
saw her for the 1st time today..
cos all along its either on sms..phone call or emailing..

i bought a new iphone for baby..
its a sudden decision.
lolx.

cos i knew all along that baby's motorola phone has a serious crack after he carelessly sat down on it.
haha.
so i bought him a new phone lor..
its my 2nd biggest surprise for him..
1st time is seiko watch for his birthday..
2nd time is not a special occasion.
just a gift to surprise him & cheer him up.
男人偶尔也是要哄哄一下的。。
哈哈！

i was so afraid that he wouldnt like it.
but after he said his heart beating rapidly after he saw it..
i was so relieved & glad.
lucky i made a correct choice.

its our 2nd set of couple phone :)

i will not be updating tml night till tue night..
cos after work..
i will be going to JB..
should be slacking awhile @ baby's JB house..
shall head towards his hometown, Kluang after his shower & supper i suppose..
will be back to JB on monday night..
cos his sis need to work morn on tues.
so i will stay 1 more night back at his JB house again.
so its considered a 3day 2nights.
no.no.no.no..
not really..

tml i working 1030-9..
so by the time when me & baby have our own personal time..
we only have 1day..
by the time we are together..
its sunday night..gonna be the next day for coming monday.

times clashes so much that me & baby are no longer able to spend more personal time on each other.
we are both tired most of the time.

alright..
received baby's sms..
he's home..
shall wait for his call.
he should be having a shower now.

alright..
i gotta go as well..

both legs aching like shit.
so cramp-ed.

gonna lie on my comfy bed & wait for baby's call.

nitex.
should be back on wed if there's available time for me to be online.
bye.

happie 2yr 1mth anniversary！

今天是宝贝和我的两年一个月周年纪念日！
我的希望一直保持不变。。
希望争吵会减少。。
偶尔小小争吵就好了！

希望我们天天都开心。。
事事都顺利。。
烦恼全远离我们！
虽然烦恼是肯定在生活中不可避免的。。
还是那句老话。。
小小烦恼就好。。

希望我们的感情会顺顺利利。。
过着一段安安稳稳的爱情长跑！

不安的心。。

我很不安。。
我很担心！

我真的很担心你。。
可是你好像一点都不在乎。。

你知道我很心痛吗？。。

going thru the worst moment in life

i'm going thru all my worst moments in my life now.
feeling real miserable.


those moments i had are gone.
all gone.
no matter how much i tried..
i still failed terribly.
i dono wats seriously wrong with me..


i'm just very depressed.

the feeling is just so different.

2years can make a big difference to my life.
lotsa things came & go..
changes are happening w/o me noticing.

i guess ppl can really realise e real meaning of cherish when they have lost it.

& i am the one.

fear is all i had.


it seems like i cant move on any further.
something is stopping me from moving on.


kenji says its me who stopped myself from moving on.

perhaps i am nvr a good gf all along.

kenji..
i need u terribly.
no one else except u understand me more than everyone else does.


he tot i'm throwing tantrum.
he tot i'm just attracting his attention.
he always think tat i'm showing him my patterns.
he nvr bothers about wat i feel.
he nvr cares how i tink.
i'm nvr right..cos i'm always wrong.
i'm always childish in his eyes.
i'm so selfish to him.


is this his way to show me that he's tired?
or to let me know he's no longer bothered in this r/s?


i'm in a daze..
sitting infront of the com..
but my spirit seems to be travelling to somewhere else.


nth can buy memories.
all i can do is to remember all the happy moments.
pls dont cheat me like how my ex does..
cos thats e most sensitive issue.
i won't be able to take it anymore.
cos u're the one who pulled me away from my ex.
u're the one who promised me tt u wouldnt be like him.


i'm reaching the end of everything.

i might collapse soon.
anytime.
tears running low.
heart beating as if it's so reluctant to continue beating anymore.

a better day..

i'm finally getting better..
slept throughout the day..
only had 1 meal for e entire day.

tml working morning..
shall slp early tonight.
hopefully everything goes well after tonight's slp.

completed my jap homework also.
hardworking lehs?
lolx.

my sensei is fierce though she always smile thru e whole lesson.
better be good & complete all her assignments.

nvr see baby e whole day..
i miss him liao..
:'(
nvm.
shall see him tml.

alright..
gtg now.

a lost battle..

i woke up again..
went home earlier just now.
body feeling weird..
i knew it.
expected that.

accidentally fell aslp on bed.
woke up with fever le..
see how well i know my body?

damn.
i must get well before saturday!

gonna slp soon.
today will be a on & off slping session.
thats my routine when i'm sick..
waking up every 1-2 hrs..
maximum 4hrs..
thats it.

my body is so tired.
aching all over.

sianx.
tml gonna see doc..
money gonna leave me again..

better let me win lottery soon..
lolx.

ok.
no mood le.
momentum down.
spirits down.

vomit everything out duing 12am++..
guess i won't vomit anymore..
cos i have nth else to throw out le..

pathetic soul.
alone in my room.
only my teddies..doggy..meowie..
all my stuff toys to accompany me.

plus one secret stuff from baby.

ok.
stopping here.
gonna slp again.

once again..
i have lost terribly.
i tot i will win my cough & flu..
but i didnt.

baby came to my hse just now.
i still half surviving..
谢谢你，甜心！
我爱你！
baby's sudden appearance cheered me up!

i am not giving up.
still fighting on..
yes!
I WILL BE BACK TO WORK ON SAT!
I WILL!
I MUST DO IT MANX!

another monday

went for my 2nd lesson today..
today's lesson was great.
very funny..

keiko-san was here..
but after 8pm..
we had a change of sensei..
became hitomi-san.
she's quite young i guess..
she really has a sense of humour..

lolx.
grrr.
i have to load lotsa stuffs into my brain.
stress..
i really can feel the stress coming..
cant imagine the JLPT..

oh manx..
finally i'm working afternoon shift tml le..
i have been staying up late & waking up early in e morning.
feel like going to collapse soon.

flu is still clinging on to me after so long..
this is my 1st time having flu for more than a week.
nb.

i hate flu..
damn it.
lost my sense of smell.
shit.

nth much these few days actually.

baby called me at 10pm earlier on..
i dint pickup..
cos hitomi-san is still around.

answered baby's call after he called e 3rd time.
weather was bad.
but baby hurried down to fetch me..
so i decided to get a burger & a mc chicken wrap.
i was shivering manx.

thinking that our permanent meeting venue is kinda far.
the place where baby will fetch me from now onwards whenever i'm having lesson.
abit sianx la.
nvm.
blasted my mp3..
faster walked to the place.
waited. waited. waited.
as the wind blows..
its damn cold as if i'm standing besides a gigantic block of ice.
awhile later..
thank god.
baby arrives.

when we reached my hse downstairs..
baby says he wanna eat supper.
cos he's hungry.
i told him i got something for him le.
spoiled my surprise.
wanted to secretly keep inside his bag den let him noe there's "something" waiting for him to attend to..

dino he will say he wanna have supper.
its rare that he says he wanna eat!

nvm.
headed back to my hse..
back to my room.

i warned baby not to open his eyes.
so i slowly took out my slightly-smashed burger & crooked mc chicken wrap.

when i ask him..
shiok anot?
is this burger & mc chicken wrap lots better than char kway teow & orh lua at this minute?
he said yes.
i felt that shiok feeling too.
its e appreciate-ness.

lolx.
no more grandmother story le.

gonna end here now.
waiting for baby to call me.

goodnight.

event done.

finally the event is finished!

this event somehow let me learned something..
these children do not have parents..
only kind volunteers who offered to help them.

some looked really normal thou they are not.
but they sure looked adorable..
happily munching fries..
enjoying ice-cream.

i'm like their big sisters..
but..
they are my learners..
cos i realised how fortunate i am compared to them.
they got so much love showered on them..
with the love they have got..
they are already so satisfied.

unlike us..
we have love..
but we are still asking for more & more.
sometimes..
i guess..
being contented is the best.

baby is off today.
guess he's going for a haircut...
he better remember to buy my chicken wings & my johnson baby!
if not..
he will....

meeting phyllis for dinner later..
din see her for more than 2 years!
goodness!

busy friday~~~

i am so so so busy with enquiries today..

helped my "mummy" do this do that!
very high manx..

have to attend OPs meeting @ 3pm..
but last minute enquiries..
i need to meet clients at 3.30pm.

luckily i have Ah Ne to help me cover up.

meeting another client on monday.
but i will give it to fred.
he's doing advertising stuffs anyway.
i know nuts about it too.

i'm a busy women..
not a free & nothing-to-do lady anymore.

thanks to "u"!

alright.
stopping here now.

waiting for lynette to post the pics on facebook den i will grab it.
pics coming soon..!
lynette..
faster confirm me can..
omgnessss*
i cant wait to see those pics taken @ timbre!

hahah.
stupid women.
lynette doesnt even noe my blog..
lolx.
forget it.
i just need to rant it out through my bloggie..

thanks to my bloggie..
its such a heavenly place for me & my shiits.

sweet rainy day <33

thought the weather will be rather fine today..
all went well for the whole day..
until..
10pm..
skies start to turn bloody red..
windy blowing as if typhoon..
sianx.

thought its a false alarm..
but just when baby & me are leaving..
rain falls..
baby says..
this kind of rain awhile only la..
but NO..
so wrong.
got heavier & heavier...
had a puff & waited awhile..
10.45pm liao..

so baby suggested that i take cabbie home..
he agreed to sponser me..
but the thing is..
there is no sight of cabbies at all.
either status busy or hired.
sianx.


15mins later..
again he suggested that he take simon's umbrella to fetch me to bus stop.
rolled up his black long pants..
looked like those uncles who sell fish in market..
lolx.
fishmonger?
hahah*
he's so sweet manx.
1st time in our 2yrs relationship!

baby asked me whether he good or not..
must write in blog to say how sweet he is..
therefore..
i listened to him.
thats why i am writing here now.

宝贝。。
我知道你对我很好啦！
现在我让全世界知道了咯！
谢谢你，宝贝！
我们在一起两年。。
你第一次这样对我。。
你太好了!
真是甜在心里了！

school starts...

oh gosh*

i cant believe its gonna be my 1st day of lesson after i finish work.
so excited!

i'm so gonna study hard for it.

wish me all e best yea..
lolx*

i'm having a very bad flu since yesterday..
bad luck.
imagine sneezing all e way since morning!?
nose seems to be numb after the whole morning of rubbing..

feel like slping too.
shiit*
pls do not make me feel slpy during my very 1st day of lessons!
god bless me.