confused..

i am so vexed.

i don't feel a sense of importance anymore.
izzt becos of the time that changes everything?
i hope not.

seems like i have no rights to decide on anything and everything was decided for me..
whether i like it or not..
i will still have to say..
"ok lor.." or "anything.." in order not to upset him.

i cant do anything i wanted at anytime..
cos i am just so afraid that he will be angry that i am causing such a great inconvenience to him.

to use the washroom..
i gotta think twice or thrice to even request him to open the door for me.
cos opening and locking the door needs might wake his family up.

imagine me enduring my needs for a night?
i rather endure than ask him to open the door..
i rather endure all this than seeing him not happy.
all this are not i want.

there's something which i would not like to say it out.
only my heart knows.
no one will know except myself.

oh God..
pls tell me that i am just thinking too much..
i am just simply sensitive thats all!