1 litre of tears

i hate this..
jus half an hour ago..
i was so happy..
and now i received the 2nd worse news in my entire life.
the 1st traumatic news in my life was when i was 11 yrs when my beloved mummy passed away.
i did not get a chance to see her for the last time as i went back to sch to collect my results.
& now..
he's someone who loves me more than anyone else do.
now that he's gone..
i lost him.
again,
i nvr got any chance to see him for the last time.
why this happen on me again!
i took so much time to let go of my mum..
now that i have to go thru all this all over again.
i hate this feeling.

i just received news from kenji..
other than my mum & dad..
he is someone whom i love dearly for all my life..
he passed away.
i so wish i can fly to japan now..
but with my condition like that,
doc doesnt allow me to fly over..
if not my health will be in danger.
its that serious.