怕。。

我很担心我家的老二！
因为老大才刚刚离开了我们。。
现在老二的情况好像有点不好！
我真的真的很怕！
难道老二那么快就要去找老大了吗？

我感觉很不对劲！
老二不想昨天那样活泼乱跳了。。
很没精神！
刚刚帮它换食物的时候。。
它已经没什么反应了！
不再像以前追我的手指跑！

这些都我给我的暗示吧？

如果老二真的很辛苦的话，
那我想我应该是时候放手了。
可能它离开去找老大重逢是件好事。
对它来说是一种解脱也是一种自由。
我不想再看到老二受苦了！

如果上天已经有了打算想带走老二。。
那么就快点吧！
不要再让我最疼爱老二那么辛苦了！
我已经看到老大是多么的辛苦才离去。。
不要再给我看到老二的痛苦了！
别再给我多一次的心碎！
这样我会更难受！

我知道老二已经老了。。
是时候了。。
我会接受的。。
我只希望它不会再这样过下去！

我求求老天爷！
我从小就对小动物容易产生感情！
每当它们的离去。。
我都会伤心很久很久！

我不想多说了。
我累了。

晚安。

老大's departure..

老大的亲兄弟。。老二！


你看老二有多坏！？总是欺负哥哥！害到老大总是装死投降！


老二总是爱认为自己很可爱。。很单纯！已经被我亲眼目睹它的坏行为了。。但它还是坚持自己是无辜的！越看越可爱！

老大每次都喜欢这样睡觉！

但这些照片从今天开始都变成了回忆。

因为老大刚刚在几个小时前离开老二。。包括我和宝贝了。

回到家时。。

我老豆就说它好像不行了。

年纪大了。。

也差不多该是时候了。

它应该解脱了吧？

看到老大的时候。。

它已经动也不动了。

真的离开了。

身体还是温温的。。

老大，

你是在很努力等我们到家是吗？

可惜你等到累累了。。

就这样睡着了吧？

现在只剩下老二了。。

不知道它晓不晓得它的亲兄弟先走了一步。。

老大。。

宝贝和我永远都不会忘记掉你的。。

因为我们曾经很疼爱过你。

这两年的时间。。

你见证了我和宝贝的爱，和我一起庆祝今天鼠年的来临！

刚不久出世才三个月多的你。。

和老二还住在一个小箱子里。。

莫名其妙就坐了宝贝驾的车回了我的家！

你们就这样被我和宝贝亲手带到我的家中。

老大，

你好好上路吧！

下辈子别再当老鼠了。

真的有投胎的话，

记得要当个人。。

不要再被人类困在笼子里面！

如果你不幸当了只狗。。

我肯定会把你带我家。。

但是你千万要做只黄金猎犬噢！

我知道再过不久。。

老二也会来找你的。

但是先让它陪我过完今年的生日！

拜托了！！！

老大，

宝贝和我都很LOVE你的！

永远都会记得你那可爱，天真又讨人喜欢的小脸孔！

我们永远都会想你。

你将永远会在我们的记忆中。

宝贝和我代替老二向你说声永别了。

再见了，老大！

:'( :'( :'(

disappointed.

hmm..

i am kinda sad now.
no longer wish to comment on anything.

nothing can change it anyway.

我一直在等。。
但是最后我还是一次又一次失望收场。

我没有资格要求些什么。。
奇迹是没有可能发生在我的身上的。。
我更不可能要求一个不可能会发生在我身上的事！

路是我自己选择的。。
是好是坏。。
我已经没有机会回头了。
开心或非常不开心还好。。
我都要面对全部。。
以为这些都太迟了。
所以我在不愿意也得要走下去。

我说了太多了。。
不想再说了。
反正说了。。做了。。
全部都是多余出来的。
有意思吗？

我还是静静就这样忍下去吧。

希望很快就会改善。。
虽然我知道可能性是非常的渺小。。
但我真的很希望。。

i chose this path.
so i better keep my mouth shut.
that's it.

i so wanna go disneyland again!

my target is to go Hong Kong with my baby!

see...
http://park.hongkongdisneyland.com//hkdl/en_US/events/overview?name=RcmdCouplesPage

i am crazy!

but seeing the video..
isnt it romantic!?~

i so envy those couple who really went there!

kenji is back!
oh finally..
at last i can stop hearing him saying that he misses his galfriend!

haha!
thanks to him who acc me to the docs last friday!
i was so afraid of my report on monday!
opps..
its already monday!!!

i shall go & collect during my split shift.

alright..
gonna slp soon.

still waiting for baby to reach home..
gotta wait till after his shower..
cos he's gonna call me.

oh well.
din managed to update on time.
[18.02.2009] - happy belated 2yrs 5mths anniversary :)
hee*

kk.
stopping here now.
so drained out today..
worked 13hrs!
tml another morning-closing shift.

waliew~

YVONNE..
TAHAN!
pls pls pls save money ok!
i must really save money to go for my trip with baby!
thats my target of 2009 with baby!

nabei..
must save!
die die also must save up!

alright.
nitex nitex..

back again..

mia-ed.
yes i know.

i have been very very busy & life has been chaotic for me during the end of june.

my dad was hospitalised..
& my grandma passed away right after the next week when my dad was discharged.
during that period..
i was in & our of hospital taking care of my dad & granny.

no matter how reluctant i was..
i still had to take care of her since my dad is not around.

thought i can finally work peacefully after my dad discharged..
within a week..
i was doing my closing stuffs & my dad called to break out the news to me.
yes..
she passed away peacefully in my house.

i thought i wont cry..
tears was running round & round..
but it didnt drop down.

i had to control..
i knew my dad will break down if i cried.
i dino i will still feel sad when she passed away.
i saw her slping on her own bed when i rushed home.
i couldnt believe it myself at first.

well..
everything was done & over.
i am back to my own working life.

i was catching up lotsa stuffs that i missed out during my 5days of leave.
okie.
now i am almost back on the track.
tml working 2pm all the way to closing.

see how it goes..
maybe i will fetch baby @ vm.

alright..
stopping here now.

feel like slping :)

sick & tired of life-

i have been terribly busy in 1 month..
terribly tired in this 3 weeks.

kenji said i MIA-ed.

been thru lotsa stuffs.
lotsa problems at home.
some minor probs in r/s as well.

or should i say..
its a shiity june for me?

felt so terrible.
my mind is so occupied with stupid & lame stuffs.

yucky manx.
i'm getting lazier to even come online checkin mails.
not to mention about updating on bloggie.

just feel so tired all of a sudden.
i can even sleep all e way until 4pm during all my off day.

something must be wrong with me.
i'm gettin crazy.

something wrong with me or its just him?

can someone tell me?
i wanna know the answer.

i miss kenji.
he's always there for me..
being my listening ear..
being by my side when i need accompany..
esp. when i am so damn angry..
he always ended being my super duper "balloon".
i can blow all my stuffs in this balloon of mine.
u better come back to SG soon ok!
i am waiting..
your gf is waiting for u as well.
i have lotsa things to share with u..
lotsa things to tell u!
nic & wm misses u as well.
esp nic!
opps!
i'm sorry nic!
but its e truth la rite!

alright.
got no mood to carry on typing.

gonna slp now.
nitex.

depression

i hate u.
i damn hate u!

why did u came back?

i nvr like u at all.
u aint welcome to my home.

u caused unhappiness to me.
u caused unhappiness to everyone.
to create attention all to u..
u created unneccesary trouble.

money & money & money is all spent on u.
all started on your stubborness.
everything turned out like this all cos of your stubborness.

now.
u are a nothing.
only a burden.
an irritating person.

u caused me to have depression years ago.
u caused me & my dad to quarrel over u.

u are not even my mum!
i will only take care of my dad & mum.

u nvr took care of my mum when she is still alive.

u only blame her for not giving u a damn grandson.

don come back!
look for your grandsons & your great grandson to look after u.

i will nvr bother to take care of u.
nvr!
over my dead body!

don blame me for being like this.
cos u're e one who caused me to be such person.

u don deserve all this attention..
u are such an evil women..

don waste your time.
u are not getting anything from me!
nothing!

我很难受！
我哭了整晚。。
我真的真的很恨她！

我这一生都不想再看到她了！
事情搞到现在这样。。
都是你一手造成的！
是你活该！
怨不得任何人！

你知不知道你连累很多人啊？
你什么都做不了。。
只会拖累人！

我恨死你了！

全都是因为你。。
我的忧郁症又再次出现症状！
你到底知不知道你很讨人厌！

sick..

i'm sick.

i got fever..
i got diarrhoea..

nb.

couldnt eat much.
stoned on my bed..
slp & wake up.
slp & wake up again.
gosh!

finally my fever subsided.
diarrhoea is getting better.

got MC today..
sucks.
wasted 35bucks on medical.

just waste 200++ on family appliances.

everything spoil!
now my body machine also spoil!
shit la!
dammit.

tml work morning shift liao.
i bet there will be tons of stuffs for me to do for sure.
very very sure.

god bless me.

i wanna get well soon.
i don wanna feel like hell again.
i hate the feeling of my own body machine going against me.

exploding..

woohoo*

i am back.
have been so busy working these past few days.
no time for updating.
tired already.

i am so angry now.
dont ask me why!
i will explode!
nb*

i am supposed to fix my own working black pants..
gonna sew the metallic thingy onto the pants cos the button dropped off everytime!
shiity thingy!

but..
now..
baby is doing it for me!
maybe i am the boyfriend.
HE is my girlfriend.
is not that i dono how to sew ok!
dono why he wanna do it for me..

he's spending the night with me for today..
the last time was like since 1mth plus ago...

alright..
i better stop here.

nth much actually.

i am just very angry!
baby is controlling me..
cooling me down..
but he's not the one who made me fly to the highest limit.
just in case i explode..
dont blame me.
cos i have endured many shiity things thru this 2009..

my limit is telling me that its e end already..
this is not my drama mama pattern.

ppl who knows me should know my temper...
i can be damn good to the person until ppl thinks i'm biased or wat..
but once they climb over me..
all i do is to endured & take it as nothing happened..
endured till my red limited exploding lights beep..
& endured for my last time with all my might!
there's no chance after that.
thats it.
here goes my temper.
i think i am already patient enough.

well.
not going to talk about this topic already.
sianx.

tml see how it goes ba..

nitex.

经历过所有才会明白一切！

我现在很清楚知道什么是幸福了。。
原来有时候。。
就算是安安静静的一对小情侣。。
有时候会一句话也没有。。
但这些并不代表就是凶兆！

可能是对方工作下班累了。。
不是不开心而没话说。。
只是因为工作累了而不想说些什么。。
只想安安静静。。
一方面可能是想控制自己的情绪避免向对方发泄。。

我真的很明白了。。

但我每次遇到这样类似的事。。
我也就安安静静地跟着宝贝。
但是我的宝贝还是很努力在我面前表现得很好！
虽然我知道他是真的很累，
我也配合他的心情。。

他安静的时候。。
我也跟着他。
当他开心的时候。。
我当然也跟着他。

互相配合一下对方。。
就更容易避免无谓的争吵咯！
感情就自自然然变得更平稳。

我真的很幸运！
毕竟我们两个人已经经过了不少风风雨雨还是能开开心心在一起。
只是偶尔还是会因为某某一些小事而吵架。
还好每次都是在一天之内雨过天晴！

宝贝一直在包容我的缺点！
但我也是得同样要会懂得包容他的缺点！
这一点我还要更加努力才行！
我不会就这样放弃的！

等下约了田野和nic买东西！
但是不是我买。。
而是田野！
他终于有女朋友咯！
我太替他高兴了！
所以。。
他其实是想买点东西送给他的女朋友。。
这将是他为她买的第一份礼物！

哈哈！
不说了。
我还是赶快准备一下。。
要不然我迟到的话。。
那只小鸟又要说我了！

拜拜！