CNY Day 2

失踪了一年多。。
我又回来了！

我的大年初二 = 闷

人家都是开开心心度过新年。
除了我。

其实我是很希望能够从你口中听到那句话。。
可是你始终还是没说。。
我想我大概是等不到你的那句话了。
已经等了三年了。。
结果等来的都是失望收场。

我为什么还是那么笨笨得等下去？
明知道是不会有机会的。。

人就是这样，
明知道期待也是空等待。。
但还是会愿意等下去。

有时候一个人想想，
自己真的有那么野蛮吗？
得不到的东西却还那么执著。。
是固执性让自己变得很不开心吗？

很多时候认为自己是对的。。
反而被别人说自己是任性，蛮不讲理，要求太高。。

我的要求真的造成一种很大的压力吧。。
对不起。

当我决定再次写网上日记的时候，
我已经认定很多心里话再也不适合说出来。
还是不说最好。。
说了又会吵架。。
留在心里才是最安全的。。

心里的种种疑问永远会是一个谜。

Genting Trip 29.09.2010 - 30.09.2010

me & Rach had thisn shot inside the toilet.


Julie's daughter, Miss Beautiful Charmaine


Shihua & me had this self shot while sitting at the reception table.

finally had the time to upload these latest pics.
didnt had the time to update after Genting trip.
its fun afterall.
been so long since i had a holiday with baby..
although its damn short!
how i wish it could be longer~!
nvm.
its the quality time that we spent together..
i really cherished those moments.

lost RM200 in casino lor!
nb.
but nvm.
baby won!~
im contented as long as he's happy.

spend another night at baby's hometown after we departed from Genting.
dyed & highlighted my hair on the next day.
after that..
went back to JB!
baby had his shower..
he put his car for washing while we enjoyed supper.

not long after..
i gotta go back home.
back to the reality.
back to the stressful SG.
damn!

had such a good sleep till saturday afternoon.
& its Patrick & Onusa's WEDDING NIGHT!

alright.
enuff of typing.

shall jump to my bed now & have my beauty sleep!

pics below taken during my departure in the coach bus.
enjoy...

i'm back!!!

yes. yes. yes.
i went into MIA mode for 2mths plus.

busy mugging with my projects & stuffs.

i've been terribly busy with my uni life & struggling with my full-time job.
but still, i need money to roll into my pocket so as to survive!

2 more days of work in order to enjoy my 5days of leave.

will be going to Genting with baby & his mum.

my planned schedule goes like this for the week.
28/9 ~
finish work at 6pm.
will rush home to clean my floor before i go JB with baby.
29/9-30/9 ~
enjoying in Genting.
1/10 ~
i will suntan myself like a red lobster.
shall dye & highlight my hair after a swim.
2/10 ~
gonna attend patrick's wedding.
3/10 ~
will rest at home & complete some of my household chores.
4/10 ~
back to work again.

shitty stuffs

SIAN.

i'm sick of all these already.
going thru all these mess for the past 10 years!

ENOUGH!

really heartbroken this time...

another shitty month of mine...

i cried.
yes.
cried AGAIN.
cried really hard this month.
it happened last month.
& it happened again this month.

WTF is wrong recently manx!?

• have u ever thought that i've been looking forward to this day every month?
• did u ever noticed how much u've neglected me for all e negative feelings that i'm having for the past few days?
• do u know how disappointed i am?
• do u know all e unhappiness that i'm having...?
• did u feel how i felt about this?
• can u feel e way that i felt ion e beginning?

i wish i could just voice it out to u just right in front of ur face..
somehow, i guess its better for me to write it here now..
for now i know..in ur mind, it could be another round of bullshitting from me to u again.

PHEW...

finally finished my LITE assignment!
oh yes!
at least one is done.

now rushing out another two assignment!
terrible thing!

omgness!
i'm so tired already!
spent the whole afternoon finishing LITE online!
walao!
i can't believe i spent almost 5hrs on my chair with my both eyes focused on the screen!
serves me right!
now i'm having headache.
i really deserves it.

ok.
gotta be a good girl & continue reading my article!

BYE.

绝望了。。

我一次又一次给自己信心。。
一次又一次相信你。。
但是结果还是一样。
又是另一个空等待。

我不敢再相信你了。。
每一次的相信都成为了失望。。

STRESS

so tired..

im still so stressed.

guanjen better ring me tml once he call Sue..

oh manx.

suddenly feel so bad to abandon kangjing alone for bridging..

but im just so NOOB in maths-related stuffs.

i rather read & read & read!

haix.

sianx la.

no mood to do anything.

reading the 17-page of my assignment seriously driving me nuts.
its not difficult to finish reading ok.
lotsa of understanding is the most crucial point.
thats the main point of assignment.

oh manx!
i need a break.

i have no time for anything.

btw,
i must thank DADDY for buying me a new laptop.
I LOVE U, DADDY!

losing my sense of direction..

i felt so unwell after class.
wonder if its because of the subject that i attended today.

im overloaded with statistics.
oh god.
this is not funny at all.
seriously giving me a terrible headache.
& my head is still turning round & round..
suppose to revise thru wat the lecturer has said today..
but because of e headache..
i laid on my sofa till now.
had a cold shower but it doesnt help at all.

im wondering if i should drop marketing management & just focus on psychology..

haix.
im so confused now.

thank god that i found 2 valuable friends that will be going thru psychology with me.
& they are Kang Jing & Guanjen..
they are really nice classmates of mine.
i will be so sad to leave them if im gonna drop marketing unit.

suddenly dono wat i want now..
dono where e hell im going to..
lost my sense of direction in life.
this feeling is definitely not a good thing.
& im feeling like hell now..
figuring if i want or not!?

FREAK!

my brain juice is currently out of stock.
all because of statistics.
dammit*

all i need now are support & encouragement from my loved ones.
not quarrels.
not arguments.
not misunderstandings.

baby,
i really need your support & encouragement badly at this moment.
i feel like breaking down anytime any moment.

ok.
shall sleep now to reproduce my brain juice for tml's statistics war!

god..pls bless me.
pls keep me wide awake so that i can concentrate all the way from 9am-6pm!

terrible life..

so stress up with weekly assignments & coming presentations!
omgness!
damn it manx.
no more freedom liao lor!

this week im fully booked with work & school.

lets see..

Monday 3 May
11am-6pm @work.
7pm-10pm @school.

Tuesday 4 May
11am-3pm @work.
7pm-10pm @ school.

Wednesday 5 May
11am-6pm @ work.
7pm-10pm @ school.

Thursday 6 May
11am-3pm @ work.
6pm-10.30pm @ work.

Friday 7 May
11am-5.30pm @ work.
met up with Kang Jing for dinner - centrepoint entrance @ 6pm.
6.30pm-10pm @ school.

Saturday 8 May
9am-6pm @ school for business statistics.
after that gotta rush home for a shower & meet baby for our movie session.

Sunday 9 May
9am-6pm @ school for business statistics AGAIN!

see how busy i am..?!

next week will be WORSE THAN EVER!

i will probably drop dead on 14 May which is definitely not a TGIF for me!

Business Statistics FINAL EXAM at 7pm-10pm.
& the next day will be..
9am-6pm for BUSINESS ACCOUNTING!

ARGH!
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY SHIT!

UNIVERSITY LIFE is definitely not a great thing at all.
there's nothing except STRESS!

ok..
i have to sleep now!
have to wake up at 7am SHARP tml!

nitex.
wish me luck manx!

NOTHING!

piangx!
damn sianx la.
really nothing also become something!

omgness!

im really innocent.
nothing.
nothing.
nothing.
really nothing.

why cant u just believe!?

don make it seems like there's something when there's actually nothing at all.

yippee!

woohoo*
baby is bringing me to mac for supper..
wee*

i've been waiting so long for that.
finally..
but we will have to walk there.
no riding..
cos he's lazy..
he don wanna climb few more storeys up if its occupied.
oh well..
thinkin of it..
its good too.
so i don need to climb so many stairs tml!

school is really tiring & full of stress.
my school lecturer - Ms Geraldine O'Brien is really....
omgness!
her english is so so so damn chim for me to understand.
lucky i got a new friend..
gonna meet her on monday at dhoby gaunt so that we can walk there together.
as well as familarise myself with the routes.

oh yes.
forgot to mention her name..
she's none other than Kang Jing.
e surprising thing was..
she is taking bachelor degree at the age of 20!
incredible manx.

alright.
shall end here now.

byebye.

idiotic FREAKING day!

have been wondering if i should just chop my hair short again..
or should i just be a lil more patient for my hair to grow even longer..
have been wondering if i will regret again..

but its very irritating!
hair length is currently at my neck & shoulder..
causing my back so many tiny pimples!
so frustrating!

today is really not my day manx!
so irritated by someone.
nabei*
its as if im working alone!
already so tired..
yet i have to get all this shit.
just one big "HUH"from u thoroughly spoils my entire mood.
piangx!
there goes my temper!
arghh*

wateva la..
i very tired to say anything liao.

will stop here for now.

shaggy von.

walao.
cleaning up my entire room really freak me out!
i din realise i have so much rubbish!
furthermore,
now i know i have a number of bags!
omgness.

now my room is so clean after 4hrs!
vacuum & mop my entire house as well..
takes me 1hour!
maybe im kinda slow.
very picky..
die die must make sure its really clean!

im totally shagged now.

gotta get ready to go out.

will be meeting up with Bai Qin, ah jui, ian, ah soon & my baby for STEAMBOAT later!
im craving for super duper spicy soup base!
i guess only me & BQ will enjoy!
the rest of the guys will go for the non-spicy soup.
so boring!
no kick de!

baby will be fetching me after work.
but before that,
i advised him to have his shower first.
cos his whole body sure very sticky after a whole day work inside the kitchen.

okok.
i need to have my shower now.

cya guys.

shitty day!

had a really bad day.
went for supper with baby, ian & soon.
noticed my righty gums are abit swollen after my fav viet coffee.
but its not painful at all.
until i start eating,
the pain comes.
swollen bum is becoming bigger.

sucks manx i tell u!

this morning was worse than ever.
i cant even close my mouth properly.
even swallowing my saliva causes so much discomfort.

wanted so much to drink just plain water is hell for me.
not only my gums.

even my throat is giving me tons of trouble.
ended up with less than half a bowl of porridge this morning.

the thing was..
i am so super duper hungry.

was busy the whole morning.
not even a minute of free time for me to take a sip of water.
bombed all the way till 2.30pm ++!
finally i started washing glasses.
had my second bowl of porridge which is equivalent to 1 bowl of it.

went to SLEEP right away.
when i woke up at 5pm..
finish the remaining portion of the porridge.
& yes..
the pain is somehow better..
at least i can finally close my poor mouth.

had our briefing at 5.45pm...
im lucky.

my first guests came exactly at 6pm!
& again..
big bomb again!
busy again..
only get to have my first sip of water at 8.30pm..
got my chance to enter the washroom at 9pm!
so urgent manx!
imagine i already feel like going at 7pm!?
& i can totally forgot that i am very urgent cos im so busy!

until 10pm when i finish work..
finally get to see my mobile phone..
saw baby's sms..

SO SWEET of him to get "gui ling gao" for me cos of my extreme heaty body that causes my gums to swell!
the feeling is fantastic lor.

this is the first time he got soemthing for me when im unwell.

thats why the feeling is so shiok.

tml working full shift already.
will be back to vm liao.

i will miss my viet coffeeeeeeee!

alright.
i shall stop here for now.

will be back soon for updates if any.

goodnight everyone.

stupid headache & idiotic gastric

我的头很痛。。

最讨厌头痛！

胃也不舒服!

wth manx!?~

i so wanna sleep..
but my headache is giving me so much trouble.
so wanna pop a sleeping pill & sleep thru the whole night.

but guess better not.
wait till i really really need it.

already got headache..
& now my gastric is giving me problems at this time.

this is damn shit ok!

tml working morning shift.
damn hate the feeling of sleepy-ness now!
sick of waking up in e morning reluctantly..!
e feeling sucks to the core!

oh manx*
i better force myself to sleep now.

waiting for my pay cheque..
im very broke already!

i'm a sleepy head!

i've been sleeping the whole day on this boring sunday!
nvr even step out of the house.
nvr done any housework which i promised myself that i wanna clean the floor!

so lazy..
so moody..
comfy weather!

baby & me slept at 2.30am yesterday.
he woke up at 10am to go work.
bo bian!
i have to wake up & close the door.
went back to sleep.
& again..
i thought i can wake up can 12.30pm plus..
but no!
i woke up at 2.30pm!

watched tv..
& the stupid thing was..
i felt sleepy again..
fell asleep at ard 6.30pm..
eyes open at 7pm.

that means my potato-couching on my sofa ends at 7pm..
& AGAIN..
the worst thing was..
i went back to my room.
SLEEP AGAIN!
i covered my whole head underneath my mickey & minnie comforter!
CONFIRM + Guaranteed CHOP...
i fell deep asleep within 1 minute.

& i woke up at 10pm...
have my shower..
halfway thru my shower..
baby reached my house liao!

funniest thing again..
i'm feeling sleepy le..
i'm going back to SLEEP!

tml working full shift anyway!

alright.
nth much for me to add on at this moment.

nitex.

我对宝贝的爱。。

没有人可以阻挡我对黄成华的爱。。

我不会因为任何事影响到我们之间的三年一个月的感情。。

我们在一起走过的风风雨雨。。
不管未来会有什么狂风暴雨。。
我们都会一起度过。。
彼此成为彼此的屋顶和避风港。
彼此成为彼此的温暖。
是没有人可以代替的。。
因为我不会让任何人取代他的位置！
我的心也容不下其他人。
除了我的宝贝。。
黄成华！

我只爱他。。

他就是。。

黄成华！

newly pics

latest pic taken last week with my dearest niece, rachel.
heavy rain that day..
she's wearing that barbie doll pinkie raincoat.
was alone with her..
thought i wouldnt be able to handle her "stunts"!
but surprisingly,
she was so obedient.
i was damn shocked.


HERE GOES THE BABY SUCKLING PIGGY!











now i realise my photography skills aint bad at all.
in fact,
im getting more & more better at it.
haha*
guess i got my practicing by helping the guest to take pics.

yes.
its true.

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT!

thats all i have got for now.

will be back for new updates.
cya everybody.
nitex.

boredd.

so boring.

baby is slping like a dead log!
play texas poker play until sianx liao!
already very stone-ed.

tml working 11-6!
yippee!

the main troublesome thing is..
i do not have any plans for tml with baby!
cos baby's working 11-5!
nabei*
how come he can be earlier than me?

hmm..
i wish i can feel slpy now..
so that i can join baby as well.
guess he will slp till tml liao!
argh*

wat can i do now?
tell me pls..

im so boredd!
no games are attracting my attention!

come on!

omgness*